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# They only way I would shove 2 fingers into Noel
is somekind of kungfu killer two finger move piercing his eyeballs entering his brain!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 10:56, archived)
# I like your thinking.
May I offer you the use of my brand new flaming death hammer with extra spiky bits too?

(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 10:59, archived)
# Aww you are all teh sweet and kindly
*batters Noel's still twitching body with flaming-spikey-death-mace-hammer*
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:02, archived)
# \o/ *sticks the boot in*
mindless violence (towards Noel Edmonds) ftw!
(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:08, archived)
# bloodly hell you ARE kinky...
what about one finger?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sun 21 Dec 2008, 10:59, archived)
# The one finger is reserved for the button to the trapdoor mechanism
labelled "****Noel's final death deal - DO NOT PRESS - EMERGENCY ONLY!****" which opens up under Noel and send him into a vortex to an infinite void from which there is no escape.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:04, archived)
# what is so terrible about this noel anyway?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:07, archived)
# Nothing really - he's a little smug and self conceited
but no more than most presenters and I do watch Deal or No Deal occassionally.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:09, archived)
# Oh, so do I.
It's the smugness that makes me want to harm him. And the repetition. And the fact he thinks he's a national treasure because of House Party. And the Pervy Uncle-ness of him.

*shudders*
(I helped save b3ta! i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:12, archived)
# Well there is that also the way he pops up at Christmas
to END ALL POVERTY AND REWARD ALL CHARITIES!!! which is nothing but token guestures that may be heartwarming but hardly a solution to their long term problems.

"Amy was born with 5 heads, 2 of which died and withered - but she has struggled on, helping her Elderly dead gandmother get to the shops for Vegemite and Toothpaste. *sniffle* and despite all the local chavs giving her a hard time poking fun at her 3 remaining heads and the 2 withered ones she has remained cheerful and optimistic *sniffle* - so we gave her a truck load of Nike Trainers!"
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:19, archived)
# That's my cousin....
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:21, archived)
# So your not short of Nike Trainers then?
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:22, archived)
# no but i haven't worked out how to tie the laces.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:24, archived)
# Ties laces?
No no you claim some lace tying disability and Noel will pop up at Christmas to reward your bravery by giving you a Playstation PS1.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:33, archived)
# Up with this kind of thing!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 11:21, archived)