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# You could make her actually wear the sharpened leg
then dangle gold in front of her and drag it along... she'd run after it and impale any garbage she ran over.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 5:51, archived)
# We'd also have to get it resharpened every 5kms.
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 5:53, archived)
# may as well get your oil changed while you're at it.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 5:54, archived)
# I also think her licence to wear a sharpened leg could be due for renewal
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:04, archived)
# you check the sticker, i'll wait here in the patrol car and play with the siren.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:09, archived)
# this would also work with vampires if you could line them up neatly
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 5:55, archived)
# I can actually picture how they would have to line up...
in fact the way I'm picturing it, there'd be two lines of coffins and it would be much more efficient to wear two sharpened legs, and just run over them.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 5:59, archived)
# EVEL KNIEVEL, VAMPIRE HUNTER.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:01, archived)
# OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE GHOST OF STEVE IRWIN
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:08, archived)
# The built up garbage that they had previously collected, might have an undesired effect on the coffins.
Therefore they should go firewalking to purge the garbage then they can commence with the coffins
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:03, archived)
# I don't know why they put vampires in horror movies
A paraplegic could take them down with the right leverage
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:04, archived)
# An epileptic might be able to as well
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:06, archived)
# Couple bags of mustard seeds and you're set.
Also
Blowtorch
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:06, archived)
# See here is how I had the coffins lined up...
but fuck if I didn't completely over-complicate it now.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:09, archived)
# This is what I meant
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:11, archived)
# close-up of a zipper.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:12, archived)
# JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:13, archived)
# And the man at the back said everyone attack and it turned into a Ballroom blitz
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:14, archived)
# It could be the fly on a vampire's trousers
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:13, archived)
# call renfield, he'll eat it.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:14, archived)
# In the voice of Peter Lorre, "Yes Master?"
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:16, archived)
# shall I post those Peter Murphy videos I was looking at last week?
 
this one was an extra special treat for me
www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8W4tslqVSg
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:11, archived)
# caution: morbid bees.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:11, archived)
# HAHA!
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:13, archived)
# HAHAHA
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:14, archived)
# I've been dieing to see how this would be played out
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:12, archived)
# if we can dangle the paraplegic between two cranes so that their legs stumble of their own accord and then drive the cranes at a reasonable speed in unison
I think we're onto a winner here
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:12, archived)
# HAHAHAHA
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:15, archived)
# WHY GRONKPAN WAS NOT HIRED TO CHOREOGRAPH THE SYDNEY PARALYMPICS IN 2000 I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:25, archived)
# Too right. He wouldn't have to do all that much, except to rehash the opening of sydney 2000 games, with a paraplegic taking the place of Nikki Webster
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:32, archived)
# apparently they did have Judith Durham in a wheelchair
ALTHOUGH SHE HAD ONLY BROKEN HER FUCKING HIP, WHAT A SLAP IN THE FACE TO THE REAL CRIPS YALL

also Kylie did both events (summer and para).
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2000_Summer_Paralympics

for me the best thing to come out of that jingoistic circlejerk was Regurgitator's unofficial games anthem, "Crush the Losers"..
that, and John Clarke's The Games
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:51, archived)
# I got in trouble where I was working at the time
for suggesting that dannii should have sung the paralympics.

Apparently someone was related to the minogues.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:58, archived)
# Politics. It's all politics.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 7:05, archived)
# Politics. It's all politics.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:38, archived)
# cranes? where's the zamboni in all this?
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:17, archived)
# They're being driven by Niles and Frasier
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:18, archived)
# on the ice rink where it belongs
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:18, archived)
# But you could have a "Disney on Ice" featuring the cranes, the zambonis, the vampires, dead bees and coffins.
Andre Rieu wouldn't be able to compete with a show like that
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:22, archived)
# The show would only go for 3 minutes
and would consist entirely of me shitting into a giant crack pipe while someone lights a fire under it and the audience all smokes my dump.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:25, archived)
# Would the show consist of shitrags?
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:33, archived)
# VIMOD'S ICE CAPADES.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:26, archived)
# YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Mon 6 Apr 2009, 6:27, archived)