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# I read today in Focus Magazine that Homosexual men statistically have longer penises and longer ring fingers than heterosexual men.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:38, archived)
# That's just luck
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)
# No, it's SCIENCE
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:47, archived)
# So if you are in-between those two stats, does that mean you are bi?
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)
# No it means you are either Ron Jeremy or E.T.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:47, archived)
# I don't want to be either
E.T. looks like a turd in a condom and Ron looks a turn in a condom that has been rolled in dog hair
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)
# 3 times in 15 minutes
My balls are like currants
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)
# hahahaha :D
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)
# don't taunt me :(
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:41, archived)
# I'm starting to wonder if all hetrosexual men have micropenises now
I'm pretty sure they don't
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)
# not all of them
although i've met a few
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)
# I read today that 78% of statistics are made up by random people on the internet and then used by lazy journalists who don't bother to fact check.
hey up sexy pants, have you still got my boxers?
(I helped save b3ta! Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:47, archived)
# Can I keep them until your smell is gone?
I wish I hadn't have been so hungover and tired when I bumped into you in the shower room.

*tries to recall blurry memory*
*has blurry wank*
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:48, archived)
# yeah but by the 59th bump I was starting to think something might be up
it wasn't until the 2006th bump though that I realised what was happening.
(I helped save b3ta! Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)
# *dry-bumps*
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:52, archived)
# and those swhers were a hell of a small
how the hell did you manage to hide in it waiting for me?
(I helped save b3ta! Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:53, archived)
# I kept flaccid by thinking of Margaret Beckett's fetid, dandruffy minge
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)
# pfffffffffft
(I helped save b3ta! Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)
# That's probably from the time they accidentally used superglue instead of lube.
It happens to all of us once.

Them! IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF THEM ONCE!

*looks around uneasily*
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:49, archived)
# O_o
*checks hands for superglue and pubes*
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)
# Fucking hell this is the worst text adventure ever.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:52, archived)
# YOU HAVE BEEN EATEN BY A PUBE-GRUE.
Go North?(Y/N)
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:53, archived)
# Go West, surely?
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:54, archived)
# Life is peaceful there.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)
# Also I'd just like to take this opportunity to state that I always presumed you were a beary kind of gentleman.
Wherein actual fact you looked like someone who had been forced to leave the army, and still thinks about twisting a man's guts with his bare hands.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)
# :D haha
I've only done that once. And from the inside.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)
# Same here.
Though I am a surgeon.

And by surgeon I mean I cut someone up once.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)
# It makes for some crazy reading!
and I'm glad it was my comic and mystery penis that inspired it
(juzzard http://mycardboardlife.com, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)
# why does it have to be a mystery?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)
# Toyah says so
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)
# that ginger witch can get bent
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)
# The less successful first iteration of the mystery machine.
Though a lot more fun to ride.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)
# velma wouldn't agree
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)
# I read that as vulva
on that note, gnite fair b3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)
# night sir
*hug*
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)
# nighty night
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)
# Jinkies!
edit: Lovely to see you on Saturday, by the way - you weren't as scary-looking as I imagined.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)
# Yes, unfortunately my hair went all short and metrosexual and my beard became practically non existant.
I DISLIKE THIS STRANGE TURN OF EVENTS
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)
# Aww you looked all fluffy and cuddly.
I wanted to pet you, but was afraid that it was all a ruse to attract your prey.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
# Oh well, at least it would have been a change from getting compliments solely from heterosexual men.
GIVING ME THE LONELIEST EXISTENCE EVER!
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 2 Jun 2009, 19:28, archived)