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# In 1984,
the Dutch inventor Mediocre travelled to Alaska in an attempt to disprove the existence of Salmon.

'I always thought that there could not exist such an effeminate looking fish. I mean, the thing is Salmon Pink for christs sake!'

When he got there, he had sex with Sarah Palin and was subsequently instrumental in her rise to power, through exploitation of his shady network of anthropomorphised woodland creatures.

He is a dangerous man.

(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)
# In my defense, she took me out to a lovely dinner
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)
# Walrus for starter,
and Grizzly Bear for main?

Also, I hope you are collecting these stories for your biography!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)
# As a matter of fact, I am

biography slander report to the police
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)
# Having seen the Dutch police
in Harry Enfield, I am not scared ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)
# Knowing some of them, and even living with one, me neither ;)
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)
# In 1881, Uzbek television personality Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! crossed the Canal in a woman's shoe in only seven hours and fifteen minutes

The feat was all the more impressive, as he had to invent both the Canal, women's shoes and Uzbekistan for this occasion.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)
# Fucking true man!
That was a crazy bank holiday :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)