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# the top one is an actual message i saw on a church


fucked up my ankle so im gonna be b3tafied all day. mint
(ProfessorNoShoes wishes he was better at Photoshop, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:16, archived)
# The Pope is Dope!
Also, OI! BBC! NO! It's Bury St Edmunds, not Bury St Edmonds you cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunts!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:19, archived)
# can we bury Noel Edmonds?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:21, archived)
# I hope so.
And I don't know why them spelling it wrong annoyed me so much, I'm not even from there.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:24, archived)
# Maybe Noel Edmonds bought the town
and renamed it.
Arrogant fool! No good shall come of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:24, archived)
# DAMN YOU EDMONDS!
*shakes fist*
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:28, archived)
# somebody already did
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:29, archived)
# 2 stupid hats?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:19, archived)
# it sure is
you get a joke and a gift - a fake fingernail if you bought pikey crackers, a keyring if you bought normal crackers or a lovely screwdriver set if you bought nice crackers
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:23, archived)
# the last christmas cracker i pulled
had a tangram puzzle in it. I thought that was pretty swish for a cheap cracker
(ProfessorNoShoes wishes he was better at Photoshop, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:25, archived)
# Or crumbs if you bought cream crackers
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:25, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:30, archived)
# i like the slightly expensive crackers
they often contain a miniature pack of playing cards, which i WILL fight my nephew for.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:26, archived)
# every year when someone gets these
Mrs S says - ooh we'll have a game with those later.

why? we have perfectly normal sized playing cards that you can actually hold!!

they usually go in the bin along with the rest of China's finest
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:32, archived)
# i love them!
i'm very fond of playing patience, so they come in handy. i've usually got a deck in my handbag and will always take them on holiday. not that i spend my holiday playing cards, of course. it's just that bright sunshine causes me to get up early so as not to waste a second, meaning i often have to wait for my sluggish drinking buddies to wake up.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:35, archived)
# Or tasty food if you bought rice crackers.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:29, archived)
# or Robbie Coltrane if you bought the TV crime drama series Cracker
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:31, archived)
# hahaha
(ProfessorNoShoes wishes he was better at Photoshop, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:34, archived)
# Or Frank Carson
if you got It's a cracker.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:37, archived)
# Or Tim Westwood if you
bought a wannabe rude boy cracker!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:39, archived)
# have we exhausted these?
edit/ clearly not!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:42, archived)
# or inside a previoulsy locked safe
if you hired a cracker
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:40, archived)
# or if you wanted a pencil
and appeared on Crackerjack
(ProfessorNoShoes wishes he was better at Photoshop, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:42, archived)
# Or a slightly dangerous kids toy
if you bought a clacker.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:42, archived)
# Or an old Irish pikey
If you bought a knacker
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:44, archived)
# orif in 2002 your went to the cinema
and watched slackers.....

*ahem*
(ProfessorNoShoes wishes he was better at Photoshop, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:46, archived)
# Or a goat
if you bought an urban farm.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:56, archived)
# Or a cheese shop
If you bought a cheese shop
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:03, archived)
# Or a dog who talks
if you bought and are watching Men in Black with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:10, archived)
# Or a soul
If you are the devil and have just been engaging Dr Faustus in business.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:12, archived)
# Or a full english and a cup of tea
if you're in a greasy spoon.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:16, archived)
# Or the entirity of the MPs expense account details
If you are a mole working for the Daily Torygraph.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:18, archived)
# Or David Bellamy
if you are David Bellamy.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:21, archived)
# ...
i fold
(ProfessorNoShoes wishes he was better at Photoshop, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:25, archived)
# Or the very concept of existence and its associated entities
If you are a philosophical construct.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:28, archived)
# Or Peking Duck
if you bought a Quacker.

/racist blog
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:42, archived)
# haha
Crouching Tiger
Hidden Dragon
Peking Duck
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:43, archived)
# Best of all the menus.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:45, archived)
# Or a volcano
If you bought a Krakatoa.

Erm ...

*whine*
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:44, archived)
# Christmas is all about GETTING what you WANT.
All else is merely formality.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:37, archived)
# Yet two christmases on and here you are still breathing.
Santa obviously never got my letters.
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:46, archived)
# Whoa.
I didn't realise I'd upset you. I do apologise.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:50, archived)
# I sense a history here
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 13:56, archived)
# Me too. God knows what it is, as I've absolutely no idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:01, archived)
# Haha what?
It was a joke.

It's only been one year.
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:09, archived)
# No. Three.
Two Christmases.

Anyway - I'm sorry if I offended you somewhere along the line - I wouldn't have meant it maliciously.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:11, archived)
# Ha ha...the world is full of stupid hats.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 14:01, archived)