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# If you were gonna kill a dude how would you kill that dude?
And how would you dispose of what was left of that dude?
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:37, archived)
# What's the situation?
I would require some form of motivation.
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:41, archived)
# I dunno; depends on you, dude. This dude has done whatever it would take to make you want to kill him.
Tortured everyone you love or queue-jumped. Whatever.

And you've invited him round for dinner.

How do you proceed?
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:47, archived)
# I've always liked the idea of a syringe full of bleach
something involviing needles definately, possibly a massive dose of heroin.
I'd probably eat the body, depending on the hygene standards of the guy, as it's a shame to waste good meat.
I think maybe crushing the bones into splinters and scattering them across a few beaches would do the trick.
I don't think my girlfriend would be up for this though.
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:57, archived)
# Maybe she's secretly really in to that sort of thing
But asking her first would ruin it
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 2:06, archived)
# Whenever I meet someone for the first time,
I think to myself, "if I had to kill this person, how would I go about it?"
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:42, archived)
# What's been your most inventive hypothetical method so far?
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:46, archived)
# being raised on Bugs Bunny / Roadrunner,
I go for booby traps. Things like detonators attached to doorknobs, anvils hanging from trees.

If the person is particularly annoying -- Bare-handed strangulation.
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:55, archived)
# Depends on the situation I had to kill him in.
But to dispose, I'd methodically strip the flesh from the corpse and burn it. Or feed it to pigs. I'd have to find some pigs.
Maybe I'm a pig keeper in this scenario... yeah. I'd feed the flesh and organs to my pigs.
Then for the bones I'd build a clay oven in the back yard and roast them as hot as possible until they're so brittle that you can easily crush them up into powder.
Then I'd use the powder to fertilise my fields.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:43, archived)
#
ask.metafilter.com/7921/#155715
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:45, archived)
# I prefer my way.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:48, archived)
# Your way requires you to be a pig farmer with a clay oven and fields to fertilise.
All I'm saying is don't rely on it.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:52, archived)
# It relies on nothing.
Clay ovens are extremely easy to build. Even if I had no pigs the oven would cremate flesh without any problem.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:54, archived)
# eww,
I don't think I'm cut out for this whole 'killing' thing
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 2:02, archived)
# Local practice for murderous pigfarmers here.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickton
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:56, archived)
# Yup.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:59, archived)
# Flies.
And then more flies.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:45, archived)
# Buzzards, dude!
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:46, archived)
# Lazy bastards, the lot of them.
Also much too visible. All that circling and shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:54, archived)
# They are about the most unmotivated carnivores aren't they?
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:57, archived)
# Death by flies would suck.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:48, archived)
# More correct to speak of maggots and larva for the last bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 1:53, archived)
# Bath full of sodium hydroxide
(It's for cleaning drains, dissolves fat, bones, skin, hair, all the things you'd find in a drain). I'd probably knock them out first as I wouldn't want to get splashed.

(Edit: On the plus side, it'd leave you a nice clean bath too)
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 2:31, archived)