b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » Message 9959739 (Thread)

# Yeah, that's a fairly typical Sunday morning scene round these parts.
*EDIT*: But here's a tip: you can avoid detection by refraining from screaming while you carry out the job.

(Apologies for forgetting to mention the edit contemporaneously)
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:42, archived)
# pfft
nice edit
edit: the apposite use of the word refraining is what really made it for me
further edit: contemporaneously - one of my favourite words, but so few opportunities to use it, well done
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:46, archived)
# WORDS BLOOMING WELL ROCK
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:54, archived)
# I think my daughter must be psychic
no sooner was I talking about her than she woke up with a shitty nappy.
spooky or what?
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 2:57, archived)
# Wayne Rooney reckons his baby is already an Everton fan.
But babies shitting themselves is not, in my opinion, spooky.
Especially not if dad's taking a run-up with his steel-toecapped boots on.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:01, archived)
# she doesn't usually shit during the night
but then I'm not usually contemplating kicking her teeth in on her mother's behalf
I hope this isn't being monitored by the anti-bullying helpline
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:07, archived)
# Official humourlessness is bloody horrible.
Just make one "off-colour" remark at the wrong time... brrr.

*POST-CONTEMPORANEOUS EDIT*: Kicking babies' teeth in would be bad and wrong, I'd say. Just in case there's any doubt out there.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:10, archived)
# Glad we got that cleared up
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:22, archived)
# and I almost believed in you.
Fucking sell out.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:26, archived)
# Well, y'know. There's an election coming up.
One must compromise. Principles aren't everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:32, archived)
# you must know that famous saying
if you want to win the public vote
then kick that baby in the scrote.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:36, archived)
# My baby's teeth aren't in her scrote.
She doesn't have a scrote.
Should I take her to the doctor?
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:40, archived)
# After you've kicked her fucking teef in, yeah.
Otherwise, you can probably rest assured she's a girl and leave it at that.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 3:47, archived)