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This is a normal post Anxiety Disorder is a bitch.
I suffered with it for years. Most of my life, really, although I didn't recognise it was Anxiety Disorder until I got my alcoholism under control and realised that I had all kinds of issues long before alcohol became my medication of choice.
I don't suffer from irrational bouts/periods of anxiety any more. Somehow during the process of learning to live without being shitfaced 24 hours a day, I completely and utterly ceased giving a shit what anybody thought about me.
It's a double-edged sword, though. When I suffered from anxiety (and before the drinking hit critical mass) I was a hugely popular person. I had an absolute shitload of friends, got invited everywhere and was generally a lovely guy. One of the great things about Anxiety Disorder is that it instills you with a sense of humility. Even if nobody else sees it, it's like a little monkey on your shoulder keeping you in check.
These days I'm a total cunt, for want of a better word. I'm not a malicious or nasty individual by any means. But I have absolutely no interest in going out of my way to please people just for brownie points. I won't laugh at somebody's shit joke in social situations just to win their favour, or tell somebody their dress looks lovely when it looks like a sparkly prolapsed anus. My boss absolutely loves me for my candour, but it has made me absolutely useless at being 'nice'.

I mean, I have a fantastic partner. Two brilliant dogs and I get along great with my partner's friends. I don't really care for friends of my own any more, I have plenty to do with the time I have already. But subjectively, I'd imagine most people would have preferred my previous anxiety-ridden life (minus the crippling alcoholism) versus my relatively new anxiety free but a bit of a total cunt with no mates life.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, don't try and completely banish your anxiety. It's probably quite healthy to worry a bit about what other folk think of you! Bloody good on you for putting it out there, though. It's not the most macho subject in the world, so it's a condition that I feel gets largely hidden/ignored by the male population. All the best with getting your head screwed on properly!
 (Huw Edwards Digital ID is fine, shut up, Wed 22 Jul 2020, 22:51, Reply)
This is a normal post Thank you.
Yes, it's unpleasant but I can see where it keeps me in check. I also use alcohol to self-medicate and wish I didn't. i'm not an alcoholic, mind (I've checked) but my brother is and I've supported him through some horrible stuff.

It's pleasing to know you have support. Get better. I'm single but have terrific friends.

I know anxiety is part of who I am (though I would like to banish it) and I can use it for my life. And I hope to get my head screwed on right.
 (I helped save b3ta! Ambegris likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise, Wed 22 Jul 2020, 23:02, Reply)
This is a normal post it's good that developing stronger mental health allowed you to self-actualise that inner cunt that was always waiting to get out

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 0:04, Reply)
This is a normal post 'How I Turned my Cunt Inside-out, and Other Tales of Personal Development'
On sale in all branches of WH Smiths and The Works, now.
 (Huw Edwards Digital ID is fine, shut up, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 1:03, Reply)
This is a normal post ah well, at least you were able to recognise the booze was doing your more harm than good, and do something about it
which puts you ahead of a lot of blokes I know. actually, I probably know more mums these days who are pretty much pissed from afternoon onward, which includes mornings now with covid. Still, when I think about the little shits they're trapped in the house with it's hard to put too much on their shoulders
 (I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 5:31, Reply)
This is a normal post I considered going the cunt route myself.
I went for "odd withdrawn outsider who talks to cats all day on pills" and the alcohol.
Gardening and cats give me some peace, that and few people.
 (I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 1:01, Reply)
This is a normal post

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 1:08, Reply)
This is a normal post So true

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 1:11, Reply)
This is a normal post I can honestly say that most days, I really don't miss the alcohol.
I very occasionally get a wistful longing for the absolute freedom from any responsibility or accountability it seemed to give me. But I've gone right off the idea of taking any substances whatsoever that significantly alter my cognitive function. Not long after having my last drink, I put down the pills and the weed, too. The thought of putting something like that into me now is analogous to poisoning myself.

I'll always be a dirty alcoholic, though. No matter how long it's been since I last drank. It's always worth reminding myself that I'd almost certainly be homeless, possibly dead, if I didn't decide I was ready to stop when I did. Complacency is fucking deadly, and the only thing stopping me from starting is myself.

I really don't mind that part of the sobriety deal was me becoming a less friendly person. The only time I dislike the new Mr. Penis is when my somewhat volatile temper gets the better of me. But those moments are very, very rare.

Hobbies and animal pals are definitely very, very good outlets!
 (Huw Edwards Digital ID is fine, shut up, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 1:22, Reply)
This is a normal post I regulate alcohol tobacco and diet pretty tightly.
I'd have been dead a decade or so ago otherwise.
Chronic pain of one sort or another keeps me on the pills. (Hahaha while writing that I just absent mindedly took tomorrow mornings by mistake).
 (I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 1:31, Reply)
This is a normal post
'I'll always be an alcoholic'

Lauagable, I used to sniff my deodorant when I was six.

You've just grown up (unfortunately)
 (chasbo zelena Real Immodesty, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 6:43, Reply)
This is a normal post Oh, how silly of me.
There aren't any alcoholics, just irresponsible drinkers.
 (Huw Edwards Digital ID is fine, shut up, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 10:09, Reply)
This is a normal post
Who gives a six year old deodorant?
 (I helped save b3ta! evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 12:00, Reply)
This is a normal post ball or aerosol?

(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 12:08, Reply)
This is a normal post Armpits

(I helped save b3ta! Nun The Wiser : My middle name's still RIS, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 15:41, Reply)
This is a normal post It is not as simple as that.

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 16:24, Reply)
This is a normal post what right do you have to disrupt someone else's simplicity?

(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 19:52, Reply)
This is a normal post Because Trump, Boris, Bolsonaro, Farage, Goebbels etc.

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 20:00, Reply)
This is a normal post consider the lily
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxlZ4i3VjXY
 (I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 20:05, Reply)
This is a normal post Much of my life goes like that.

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 23 Jul 2020, 20:19, Reply)