The last flight of the Highfields Stuka Squadron
I spent most of my school career blending in with the crowd. If naughtiness happened I was usually the idiot who got the blame rather than the instigator.
Except once. Let me tell you about it.
One lunchbreak, during the early years of the Thatcher administration a group of bored young boys -6 or 7 of us - were lurking at one end of the playgound - and somehow I came up with the idea of playing Stukas.
The iconic WW2 divebomber is famous for two things. The crooked wings and the bowel-loosening howl that came from the underwing sirens every time it went into an attack dive.
(And being hacked out of the sky by Spitfires, obviously)
Over on the other side of the playground a small group of girls were minding their own business unaware that the next few minutes were about to get very, very unpleasant.
Suddenly a small boy sprinted past, arms outstretched - but slightly bent - and on his way past he let out an unearthly howl at the top of his lungs.
EEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIOOOOOWWWWW
Before the startled young ladies could react the next had started his attack run. EEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIOOOOOWWWWW
And the next.
And the next, and the next, each one screaming as he went past.
We may have gone back and done a bit of strafing, memory is unclear. The point is, when the last Stuka trotted off round the bikesheds we left a gaggle of slightly deafened girls having a hysterical sobbing fit.
Retribution came as soon as we arrived back at the classroom. As our homeroom teacher looked on with harsh, icy eyes, our victims picked out their tormentors and they joined the shamefaced parade at the front of the class.
"Was anybody else involved in this affair." thundered the teacher, a man reputed to have put pupils in hospital.
The girls took one long look around the classroom, but utterly failed to notice the specky kid sat right at the front desperately trying to look innocent.
My fellow Stukas were led away to punishment and humiliation, and I watched them go thinking "Thank fuck for that."
The Stuka Squadron flew no more after that and I spent the rest of my school career carefully avoiding any more bloody stupid ideas.
(Big D, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 18:51, 3 replies)

Don't tell him Pike!

( Ghoti Fingers, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 19:03, closed)

Homeroom? Isn't that like American or did I get old?
(Deckard, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 23:24, closed)

Refine and then...
This needs to be on the law of the playground site.
(badgermonkey007, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 19:22, closed)