My parents and their temporary hatred of Dog.
We were an active family and often went to help our friends whenever a hand was needed. The fun job this time was clearing about half an acre of bracken - brambles and all things wood to make a horsey paddock. The whole family went, along a chainsaw, matches and our Labrador. Anyone who has owned one of these dogs will know that they will eat, eat - be sick - and eat again. Lunchtime was upon us and Ma was making doorstep peanut butter slices, yummy. Dog had been fed so was not hungry but curiously had positioned itself between Ma and Pa. Ma handed Pa a peanut butter slice without looking and Dog opened its wide jaws and scarfed the slice. Queue a minute of rage toward the Dog.

Another time of gross offence was when we went to the Cinema. Ma had popped the evening meal into the oven and prepared some 'Angel Delight' *† for dessert, leaving it on a kitchen top to set. The kitchen door was securely closed and off we went. Returning two hours later we found the kitchen door open and all the bowls of Angel Dirt completely empty. Yes, Dog had opened the kitchen door and eaten all contents of the bowls - without even knocking any off the kitchen top. Needless to say, Dog was punished severely by Ma, there being no family friends present to chide her.

*† I don't know if anyone remembers this bizarre product or even if it is sold now, but I cant imagine this by-product of the Petrochemical Industry being remotely healthy.
(luckylife , 0 guests and 3 bots are online, Wed 8 Jun 2016, 13:52, 9 replies)

I thought you were going to say that Dog had somehow managed to get into the oven, perhaps also setting the table.
Pity.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 8 Jun 2016, 14:45, closed)

You're supposed to set Angel Delight in the fridge.
Well, not anymore, but still do because it seems right.
mcbeef is right about butterscotch flavour, too. My mum used to put chocolate chips in ours.

Keyword: fooooood
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 8 Jun 2016, 17:32, closed)

or make it with a pint of milk instead of a half
and have a delicious, not remotely chemical, all natural milkshake.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 9 Jun 2016, 11:53, closed)

you fat cunts are so obsessed with whipped up butterscotch flavoured vomit
that you ignored the fact he spelt "dessert" wrong
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 9 Jun 2016, 11:30, closed)

Answers to win

(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sat 11 Jun 2016, 1:20, closed)

and "cue"

( finnbar has officially retired, Tue 14 Jun 2016, 19:15, closed)

So your story is "my parents were too fucking thick and lazy to train an easily trained dog to not be shit"?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 11 Jun 2016, 9:44, closed)

The dog was quite obedient...
... except whenever food was involved. Late one night Ma took the dog for a walk and asked me if I wanted to walk too, I said yes and absent mindedly popped a few chocolate biscuits in a coat pocket for a snack later on. So off we walked along a dark lane when suddenly there was a loud scream. I madly looked around, thinking that someone nearby had been killed, after a slight interval Ma asked if I had bought any food with me and so I replied in the affirmative.
Ah well, that was the answer and it was my fault. You see, the Dog could tell I had food in the depths of a coat pocket and kept trying to get closer until it walked across Ma's path and she trod on its paw. When it came to food the 'effing thing was crazed.
(luckylife , 0 guests and 3 bots are online, Mon 13 Jun 2016, 18:46, closed)

I once eat a catering pack of angel delight then threw up.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 13 Jun 2016, 17:43, closed)

"active family" = "swingers"

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 14 Jun 2016, 20:48, closed)