Abusing freebiesA friend of mine recently attended a 'Champaign Lunch', where he was compelled drink as much fizzy stuff as he could between the first and last courses. In an ideal world we'd ask restaurant staff to tell us stories about fatties stuffing themselves at All You Can Eat places, but we recognise that our members don't all work in the catering trade, so for the rest of you - tell us something about abusing freebies. BTW: Bee puns = you fail.
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lizard, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 14:16)
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Who says there's no such thing as a free lunch?I used to work for a large department store on Oxford Street which had a staff canteen within the building. This canteen was fantastic; a section that offered dishes from a different country every day, a section that just did roasts, a sandwich bar, the list goes on... You simply picked up a tray when you went in, collected what you wanted and paid at the front.
Most people after they paid walked to the water fountain to get a drink before taking their seat at one of the many tables.
I soon realised that if I walked with my tray towards the cash registers but veered off towards the water fountain just before I was due to pay, then everyone assumed I had paid and then I could sit down to enjoy a free meal.
The thing is, the longer I did it the bolder I became. A competition, within myself, had been born to see how much food I could liberate in a single lunch hour. A typical lunch might include a bowl of steaming hot mulligatawny soup with two bread rolls, a full roast with extra yorkshire pudding, some spotted dick with loads of custard and a muffin.
Soon I even started taking sandwiches that would act as an afternoon snack. On civvy street this probably would have set me back about 15 quid but this canteen was subsidised so it would have been about 6-7 quid.
Now I did this every day, 5 days a week, for 2 years. 6 quid x 5 x 52 x 2 - you do the maths (and let me know what it was cos I can't be arsed working it out.)
Paid for me to take my then girlfriend to Goa for two weeks. It was there that during a shag I heard a click in my nose and all the seawater that had gone up there earlier that day came running out all over her face - yeah, that's it baby, you love it when I splash your face with my salty fluid. Mmmmmmmmm. But that's another story - which I have just told you. So you just got a bargain. A freebie, if you will.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 0:14, 3 replies)
debenhamsis it?
(, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 0:16, closed)
NoIt was a place that sell fridges, wink wink.
(, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 0:17, closed)
How much?About £3,000 plus change...
(, Sun 11 Nov 2007, 1:57, closed)
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