During my final year at Polytechnic...
.. a colleague foolishly allowed us to use his house for a party to celebrate the end of the course, whilst he returned to his parents for the summer.

This was stupid for so many reasons, and of course we abused it.

We tidied all his valuables and breakables into a wheelie bin, and parked it out back of the house out of harms way.

7.30pm The first guests start to arrive, most are in an advanced state of inhebriation, some are under the influence of amphetamines.
We start drinking my friends beer.

7.55pm Hosts beer runs out, there are now 35 people in a 3 bedroom Leeds victorian terrace house. We start drinking the beer we bought for the party, some of the more spaced out members of the party start drinking his collection of spirits. Glenfiddich, Vladivar and José Cuervo are all quaffed back in copious quantities.

8.40pm There are now probably 60 people in the house, 'Banging' tunes are being played by the DJ designate in the lounge. The neighbours knock to ask us to turn it down. It is turned down by 0.5% of a Decibel. More beer has been procured, and is being downed at an alarming rate.

9.30pm A few of our number disappear upstairs with various female party guests to 'Make the Beast With 2 Backs' (In one lucky gentleman's case, with 3!). On taking my turn, I note the amount of moisture on the bed, and elect to entertain my partner on the floor.

10.40pm Some Headbangers arrive, apparently under the influence of a rather strong blend of Amphetamine Sulphate which was prevalent in the city at the time. They accept beers, look anxiously around for someone to punch, and on finding no likely candidates at the moment, hunker down in the kitchen.

11.45pm The Headbangers have reached such a state of intoxication they are disassembling the kitchen, piece by piece and stacking it in the back yard. We try remonstrating with them, but one of our number gets headbutted so the rest elect to let them get on with their DIY.

12:20pm We are now all drinking some homebrewed Moonshine that a couple of uninvited guests have bought with them. It is so strong I start to lose my vision and several other participants complain of numbness in their tongues, and an urgent pressure in their rectal cavities.

And so the party went on. On inspecting the damage in the morning it turned out person or persons unknown had managed to get the wheelie bin in the boughs of an oak tree overhanging the neighbours garden, the toilet had, at some point in the evening become blocked with faeces, vomit and french letters, so a large plastic bin had been used, and when this had reached capacity, the guests had moved to the bath.
The Police had been called several times to quell the noise, and the door had been answered by someone called "Denis Norden". To this day, we have no idea as to the identity of Denis, but I think it's safe to say that he, and everyone else that night, abused a freebie in the shape of our friend's house, for shame.
(Vic Flange, Fri 9 Nov 2007, 17:07, 1 reply)

3!?
so that is 6 right?
(woo who?, Sat 10 Nov 2007, 3:00, closed)