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This is a question Abusing freebies

A friend of mine recently attended a 'Champaign Lunch', where he was compelled drink as much fizzy stuff as he could between the first and last courses. In an ideal world we'd ask restaurant staff to tell us stories about fatties stuffing themselves at All You Can Eat places, but we recognise that our members don't all work in the catering trade, so for the rest of you - tell us something about abusing freebies. BTW: Bee puns = you fail.

(, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 14:16)
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As a law student, I get invited by firms to go to expenses-paid presentations and dinners
Sometimes I think they're excuses for the people running them to have a nice meal and drink at their colleagues' expense, but as long as I get fed I'm happy.
Problems arose at one of these dos, however, the one night I wasn't even supposed to be attending. Two of my friends, X and Y, had signed up but I hadn't. However, on the day X wasn't feeling very well so I decided to go instead of him in order to accompany Y, who had been having girlfriend problems and as such could do with company and drink.
We arrived at the very nice restaurant, introduced ourselves to our hosts, and were seated at the table. Oh, the namecards suggest we're right down at the end, away from everyone we know. Oh well.
We decide to order a bottle of wine for ourselves and the chaps next to us, who seemed to be very pleasant, and had the same sense of humour as us. The firm had ok'd our ordering drinks, so we ordered the third-best one (as is the practise of all good gentlemen when others are footing the bill and say "don't worry about the price".
One bottle became two. Somewhere around the point where I was finishing X's steak, two became five. By now the girls next to the other lads had joined in, and our little coven was cackling away merrily.
As dessert came round, I saw that X had ordered himself an apple crumble. Not my cup of tea, so I decided to wash it down with a cocktail. The rest of the coven got the same idea, and happy to oblige us te waiter brought them over quickly.
Do we want coffee? No! Liqueurs! I don't know what liqueurs. A selection. Thankyou.
As the waiter brought drinks to our table yet again, the partner in charge of the evening got the hint that all was not right with our coven. The girls were now bartering with the two lads about how much the lads would pay to see them kiss, and Y and myself were having a deep intimate conversation. All the liqueurs were in front of the other four.
So they were asked to leave.
Y and myself helped ourselves to the liqueurs. I went for a wee. After weaving my way to the toilet I met a chap I didn't recognise putting his contact lenses in. "Have a good night?" He asked. I then regaled him with my exploits, my sodden brain not realising the idiocy of such an action.
When I went back to my seat having successfully emptied my bladder, I saw Contact Lens Man talking to the partner, before sitting down next to him. Oh bugger. He was a partner too.
Y and myself made a hasty exit, our names forever tarnished with that firm.
But of course, it wasn't my name, but Xs name which was on the card. They had no reason to believe I wasn't X.
This is why the magic circle firm rejected you point blank mate, despite your good marks. They're a bit prudish anyway, they wouldn't like you. You'll be better as a barrister.
(, Tue 13 Nov 2007, 11:28, Reply)

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