Abusing freebiesA friend of mine recently attended a 'Champaign Lunch', where he was compelled drink as much fizzy stuff as he could between the first and last courses. In an ideal world we'd ask restaurant staff to tell us stories about fatties stuffing themselves at All You Can Eat places, but we recognise that our members don't all work in the catering trade, so for the rest of you - tell us something about abusing freebies. BTW: Bee puns = you fail.
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lizard, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 14:16)
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Me dad regularly gets given information for free......from these odd people who turn up at his doorstep saying that "God's real name is Jehova", to which he politely replies by offering the advice of "Get the fuck off my doorstep before you get hurt". I suppose this qualifies.
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Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 14 Nov 2007, 9:42,
8 replies)
Threaten them with a blood transfusionI know it is wrong to mock anothers beliefs, but what a bunch of idiots.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Nov 2007, 11:02,
closed)
No, no, no......it is 'wrong' to mock other people's beliefs only because people with ideas as stupid as religion say so. Who the fuck are they to dictate? They believe in sky pixies and the like for fuck's sake. It's like allowing paedophiles to dictate child protection laws.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2007, 11:32, closed)
QuestionDo Jehova's witnesses like Knock knock jokes?
(, Wed 14 Nov 2007, 12:37, closed)
JehovahsWell everyone is entitled to their beliefs, provided they don't encroach on the lives of others IMHO.
I cannot forgive the bastards for ruining the moment when they came knocking on my door early one Saturday morning as I was about to enjoy some sweet, beautiful loving with my then g/f. I was talked out of answering the door bollock naked I was so incensed.
I will find out where they live and post jazz mags through their letterbox, while camping on their front drive and inviting them to take communion from the sixteen pack of Fosters I will be bringing with me.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2007, 12:47, closed)
Friend of minewas politely trying to get rid of the JW's when her 4 year old projectile vomited over them!
Oddly, they haven't been back!
(, Wed 14 Nov 2007, 13:48, closed)
Projectile vomitingWould have been better still if her head had revolved by 360 degrees before the vomiting commenced.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2007, 14:00, closed)
Smoking!PMJ, Just keep on offering them smokes and blow some at them when you are talking to them.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2007, 14:03, closed)
PJMYeah, that would have been cool - mind you, the vomit was bright orange.
The wee one's uncle had given her a can of Irn Bru and a big bag of flumps!
(, Wed 14 Nov 2007, 14:17, closed)
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