Help, quite frankly, is beyond me.
Addiction? Pfft!

I pace up and down lonely high streets waiting for WH Smith* to open, the dull thunk of the door lock envigorates my spirit.

Once inside, I scamper, like a small puppy dog having been thrown a tit bit of food, to the only place that I can solace in.

And there they are... in all of their magnificent beauty, their shiny wrappers like glistening dew in a spring meadow, their freshness, untouched by other hands...

The collection must be mine! I must have them, from start to finish!

The first edition, in my hands, MINE I TELL YOU!

And forward, to the cashier, dripping with sweat, twitching and grinning like a loon in my dishevhelled state.

Coins, and notes, damp from my sweaty hands are pulled and thrown at the counter - but NO! The cashier wants to put my magnificent paper based product into a bag! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I wrestle it from their dirty, FILTHY hands! This is mine! Not to be touched by others.. and I pull a hanky from my pocket and wipe the fingerprints off...

But! Whats this?! A CREASE! The DIRTY, DISGUSTING, BASTARD!
They have CREASED MY BEAUTY!

I sob gently, and with head bowed, I walk out, and mutter to my new friend, we shall have intimate times together.... I shall protect you and collect all of you.....

*Also available in other good newsagents.
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 22:51, 5 replies)

*Doffs hat*
I deserved that.






cunt
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 22:55, closed)

o_O
.
did you dare?

DID YOU DARE TOUCH MY LOVELY LOVES?

/kills with hammer.
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 23:05, closed)

you bastard.

( MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 0:15, closed)

It's 02:22, and I've been up for nearly 42 hours...
But I still can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for that...
(Cluckles, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 2:24, closed)

*laughs at you all*
Mouseover is your friend :)
( snee held his breath since, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 9:35, closed)