Caffeine
Not the hot beverage with a terrible smell that reminds you of history teachers' breath, nor the 'one-step-down-from-cocaine' energy drinks you find at the end of the supermarket drinks aisle.

For some reason, my caffeine addiction lies right in the middle - Coke & Pepsi, 'cola', 'soda pop' or indeed 'fizzy juice', if you happen to be a bell-end.

Juice is from fruit.

And anyone who uses the term 'fat coke' needs a lobotomy. Through their arse.

Anyway... there's something horribly embarassing about getting addicted to caffeine. You know it's your fault for drinking too much of it. You know when you should've stopped and you know that bloody headache is only going away if you get some caffeine in you or ride it out for about two days.

In particular, I remember hearing about someone who worked the night shift having to be weaned off of coffee. Then, I laughed at what I percieved to be absurd. When I realised I was drinking 2-litre bottles of a substance with higher doses of caffeine than coffee (honest, look it up. There was a graph and everything) I felt like a right tit.

So at some point I say "screw this, I'm going clean". Someone once told me that you need to stay off the bog-brown demon for a month or so to be free of its effects, and then must stay off it forever.

Then again, this same person once drugged me unconcious so she could sew up a hole in my jeans.

So, I relapsed. After a few years I've gotten into a system of moderation. (switching from bottles to cans helped) I'm starting to think I'm just addicted to the cola taste and the caffeine addiction happens regardless. I've left and gone back to it so many times that I don't think I'll bother giving up again. It's just the regular varieties too; diet and caffiene-free just don't taste nearly as good.

I'll put up with the slightly yellow teeth, the rubbish sleep cycles and the occasional headache-causing overdose. It doesn't even matter if its Coke or Pepsi, I migrate between the two with relative serenity. And I'll probably drink it until I die. Of dead teeth or massive coronary failure.

Because it tastes so damn nice.

I love you, cola-flavoured drink with vegetable extracts.
( Iki I think my camel is dead., Thu 25 Dec 2008, 2:23, 5 replies)

have you tried...
...caffeine-free coke?
(DissolvedMynci, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 12:11, closed)

"It's just the regular varieties too; diet and caffiene-free just don't taste nearly as good."
In other words, yes.
( Iki I think my camel is dead., Thu 25 Dec 2008, 16:51, closed)

There is nothing wrong with calling it fat coke.
Except the proper term is 'fat bastard coke' especially when in a restaurant with a load of girly friends who are all on some mimsy diet or other and the drink order goes

'7 diet cokes please. And one fat bastard coke'

because the irony is IT WON'T MAKE YOU LOSE 2 STONE you divs. In fact it won't even go any way to counteracting the fact you're about to shovel 2000 calories of sauce-laden pasta down your face.
(Clarabelle is reverting to type on, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 12:48, closed)

Wow, I thought it was just me...
... at my room in Uni there would be so many empty coke cans/bottles. I cut down when I worked out there was more Coca-Cola in my body than blood at one point.
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 13:51, closed)

Diet coke is made of fail.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 25 Dec 2008, 15:01, closed)