The Usual Suspects
I'm sure I'll think of a ton more, and apologies if these have already been done, but I really must vent my dislike of;

- Rimmel. Primarily because the name sounds like a harrowing portmanteau of 'Rim' and 'Camel' (and god only knows why you'd need to portmanteau those two), but also because they remind me why models never usually speak. Each advert consists of 28 seconds of a lady looking incredibly polished, followed by two seconds which shatter the whole illusion as you hear her honk "Get the London look" in the sort of balls-ugly foghorn that causes passing sea-lions to turn their heads.

- Berroca's shameless robbing of the OK Go treadmill video. Hopefully one day OK Go will return the favour by launching a drink which tastes revolting and does nothing but turn your piss luminous.

- WKD. It's a drink for bell-ends who can't manage a whole pint of beer, and the adverts feature a bunch of bell-ends being bell-ends, so I can't really fault them for accuracy. There's still no excuse though. (N.B. I did, however, like one WKD advert in which a woman enjoying a relaxing bath is interrupted by her husband barging in to take a dump, complete with magazine. There was something about the sheer bluntness that did it for me)

- Any insurance advert which includes the phrase 'We're not on price-comparison websites' as if it was a good thing. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm not convinced that letting Confused.com show your prices would cost you huge amount. It's like me advertising my services as a children's entertainer with a classified ad proclaiming "I haven't been CRB-checked, so I can pass that saving on to YOU"

- The last few Christmas' Boots adverts, in which they position themselves as official supplier to the office Secret Santa. Not just for the grating style, but also for their crafty attempts to inflate the generally-accepted value of the Secret Santa gift. Maybe I've only ever worked for tightwads, but every Secret Santa I've experienced has had a top price limit of £10. Boots ads, however, show people giving their loathed colleagues £40 facial-hair trimmers, designer perfumes, all sorts. It could be that I need to adjust my tinfoil hat, but it does look like they're trying to convince us that the rest of the world thinks nothing of trotting down to Boots to spend £50 on a sun-lamp for the cunt in HR.

It's not all doom and that, though. Orange Tango adverts have always attracted huge praise, but one ad for Blackcurrant Tango is often cruelly overlooked. It's amazing; The editing is great, the soundtrack is perfect and the whole thing is the most incredible and exhilarating rush I've ever seen in a commercial. The bit right at the end especially, when the planes descend, is awesome.
(costas, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:16, 4 replies)

this is a most eloquent and elegant
rant. i am impressed. clickage!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 18 Apr 2010, 22:58, closed)

The "we're not on price comparison websites"
No, you just spent the money on getting Stephen Fry and Paul Merton to voice over a CGI computer mouse and telephone instead of passing the savings onto us. *clicks*
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Mon 19 Apr 2010, 7:52, closed)

LOVE the BCT ad!
But those "price-comparison" auto insurance ads (over here it's "Progressive" insurance ARE A TOTAL SHIT RIP-OFF SCAM. They do NOT give you ANY prices for ANY OTHER COMPANIES, ONLY THEIR OWN. They fucking LIE to get you to their fucking website, suss-out your ISP addy and bombard you with fucking SPAM. About as "progressive" as the fucking JEEEHOVERS WITLESSES and the psychotic-stalker fucking Mor(m)on "MISSIONARIES," aka tag-team attempted B&E rapist-wannabe FREAKS. Oh, yeah, keep pulling on MY security gate, you illiterate, intrusive, unwelcome cunts, and I'll show you what a SHOCK can feel like, you slavering, drooling-off, never-gonna-get-laid DOGS.

So, fer yer own peace & quiet, don't waste your time with those "comparison" insurance sites, they'll all bend you over and never once deliver on their bullshit promises. If you've seen U.S. adverts lately, you'll notice that they don't MENTION the "come and compare" feature NEARLY as much, AS TOO MANY PEOPLE HAVE CALLED "BULLLLSHITTTT!!!" on it.
(AnntichristSCoulter, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 9:18, closed)

"balls-ugly foghorn that causes passing sea-lions to turn their heads".

click x a million
(shanterbabs, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 13:44, closed)