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This is a question That One Mate

Second Best Porcupine asks, “can we have another story about that lovable scamp Alan, please?” We all know an “Alan”. Tell us about that one mate who can't help but get in to trouble.

(, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 10:54)
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This story is well lol even if you think it isn't
I have a mate who is a liability, lets call him Alan. Growing up he used to do daft stuff like running over the top of peoples cars and stuff like that. He would always get caught and bollocked for it too. He hasn't changed much.
One night we were walking home escorting some young ladies back from the pub to an after pub party at my house. Alan saw two massive blokes walking up the other side of the road and thought he would offer them a chip. When they replied to the negative my dear friend thought it would be best to help them change their mind by throwing chips at them. We dragged him away but they followed us home and after some strong words they decided the best thing to do was to kick my front door in.
The police were called and came out they asked who got the best look at them and one of my other mates replied that he had and off he went in the police car to see if he could find them. The rest of us sat down with the other policeman and some of us gave statements. Shortly afterwards we realised Alan wasn't in the house, very shortly afterwards it came through on the radio that they had found them. All three of them and arrested them. Alan had gone in to the kitchen and nicked a carving knife and was found outside a supermarket holding them at knifepoint. He tried to explain to the police that he just didn't want them to get away and was helping them out. They of course bought it and gave him one of those hero medals? No, he spent the night in the cells and was let off with a caution for possession of a bladed article the next morning (luckily). The two guys went to court and had to pay compensation to the tune of about a third of what it cost to replace the door and frame. Thats why we have insurance apparently.

Months later I received an unexpected delivery. The police sent me the knife back.

Oh yeh and it made me shit my pants!
(, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 14:23, 8 replies)
Classic Alan!

(, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 14:23, closed)
Sorry to hear about your house though, that sucks

(, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 14:32, closed)
Aren't you supposed to say "Pearoast" and put in some wavy lines?

(, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 14:38, closed)
Well I didn't read the whole thing, but it seems hilarious!

(, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 15:07, closed)
Ok, I just read it and I think I would've killed Alan

(, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 15:09, closed)
I hope this wins

(, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 15:32, closed)
Well I certainly clicked it

(, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 15:53, closed)
What japes!

(, Thu 2 Jul 2015, 16:29, closed)

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Pages: Popular, 2, 1