Birth?
I've been trouble from the start it seems.
Age of 5 a friend and I got a digger started on a building site across the road from our houses. I also painted the next door neighbours volkswagen beetle a fetching colour of green about the same age. A couple of years later I went out at night on my bike to play on the river near my school and in the grounds of my school, again a digger was involved - taken home by police. Age 10 - truancy, drinking, sniffing, smoking, stealing, vandalism, I was a one boy crime wave. Spent several says off from primary school destroying a large abandoned house, sawing bannisters, smashing windows, trying to cut down trees, sniffing petrol we found in a lawnmower, pooping in the living room. It's a common thing with people breaking in to places to poop there, I think it's the adrenalin that stimulates it.
(DonnyBoyBelfast, Sun 3 Mar 2013, 1:36, 7 replies)

So your story is
you have been a petty criminal/vandal and you find that breaking into places gives you an adrenaline rush which in turn loosens your bowels?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 3 Mar 2013, 2:43, closed)

Well, it gives another meaning to the term 'Turd Burglar' I suppose
(DonnyBoyBelfast, Sun 3 Mar 2013, 17:29, closed)

POOBURGLAR
I once worked for a builder and his son a few years back and we were renovating council houses.Said son always use to wear without fail come rain or shine his trusty floppy brimmed hat.
One morning he didn,t have it on and he happened to mention he left it in an empty house we working on the day before.
Opening the front door on said house we were met by a foul shitty stench,and soon realised we,d been burgled,on looking for the nasty deposit to get rid,I soon found it.
There in all its glory was the hat on top of a turd which the burglar had used to wipe his arse in.....His face was a fucking picture which I will never forget,I pissed myself laughing when scraping it up with a shovel...If you were the phantom shitter I owe you a pint.
(andycrass loves two hats on, Sun 3 Mar 2013, 6:57, closed)

Really?
It's like chav central. innit?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 3 Mar 2013, 7:50, closed)

Your parents must be so proud.
No, not proud, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yes, "neglectful".
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 3 Mar 2013, 9:20, closed)

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 3 Mar 2013, 9:22, closed)

This is typical behaviour for McCooey's in and around Belfast.
Which is why most people in N.Ireland avoid it unless to pass through on the way to an airport or ferry out of the country.
( Bamboo Steamer, Sun 3 Mar 2013, 16:55, closed)