Accidental animal crueltyI once invented a brilliant game - I'd sit at the top of the stairs and throw cat biscuits to the bottom. My cat would eat them, then I'd shake the box, and he would run up the stairs for more biscuits. Then - of course - I'd throw a biscuit back down to the bottom. I kept this going for about half an hour, amused at my little game, and all was fine until the cat vomited. I felt absolutely dreadful.
Have you accidentally been cruel to an animal?
This question has been revived from way, way, way back on the b3ta messageboard when it was all fields round here.
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rob, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 11:13)
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I used to know an odd couple…They were called Malcolm & Annie. They were that type of wanker folk who listed everything and had rules for everything. You know the kind
They collected tools and hardware…and labelled them accordingly: Hammer A, Hammer B and so on.
They had 5 Axes! (the latest and newest one was apparently 'the best' FFS!)
You weren’t allowed to touch anything of theirs…let alone their pets (That was against their ‘Rule Q’ – potential violation of possessions.)
One day I’d had enough –I found their beloved dog and whacked it’s bastard teeth out using their favourite axe.
‘I bet you haven’t got a rule for that’ I said, with the weapon in my bloodstained hands
‘On the contrary’, they said
It’s a definite case of:
Axe ‘E’ Dental Annie-Malc rule ‘T’
…
What?
…
(I’m sorry…I don’t know why I bother either)
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 6 Dec 2007, 16:05,
12 replies)
That...is the height of crap
*groans*
(, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 16:09, closed)
Agrees that its crapand thats why it gets a click.. groan humour is the best
(, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 16:13, closed)
please sirplease tell me that that just popped into your head the way random things do into mine, otherwise i have serious competition for the title of "person who does the least with their working day"
i chortled by the way
(, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 16:13, closed)
PogoRight on both counts...As soon as a QOTW comes out I'll spend a few minutes thinking of relevant stories.
When I'm bored of that (or run out) I rip the title of the QOTW to shreds and think of the shittest pun possible.
Blame Apeloverage
But also...I do all my B3ta at work...and I'm bloody well paid.
*Has another vodka*
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 6 Dec 2007, 16:22,
closed)
Good God you must be ...................doing fuck-diddley all work today!
Terrible pun. I laughed until a little bit of wee came out.
(, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 16:45, closed)
How the devildo you keep coming up with these horrible puns? its pure genius
(, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 17:25, closed)
Lemon curryThat's an awful pun.
More please.
(, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 17:27, closed)
*SPANG*(That was for you, not for the dog.)
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The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 6 Dec 2007, 17:37,
closed)
YOU DORK!I was gasping in outrage when I read "whacked it's bastard teeth out" and getting all tearful and pissed off when I got to the end.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
What a stinkeroonie.
(, Sun 9 Dec 2007, 1:38, closed)
Enough with the wanky puns.If you didn't occasionally have good stories, you'd be right up there with Apeloverage on everybody's ignore lists.
(, Tue 11 Dec 2007, 19:59, closed)
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