Polar Bear Trepanning
A friend of mine is a biologist who went on a field trip to Northern Manitoba, which is Polar Bear country.

You should understand that despite the Grizzly's reputation, the Polar Bear is the smartest, biggest and most dangerous bear in the world. Standing on their hind legs, they can reach 11 feet tall, they can run 30 miles an hour and they will stalk their prey for days, swimming through lakes, rivers and under the ice of the frozen arctic ocean.

Anyway, the team of biologists had split up leaving one of their colleagues behind. They were heading back to camp when one of them noticed that a bloody great bear was dragging their pal away by his head.

He knew better than to struggle, so he played dead and stayed limp as the bear backed away, dragging him for about a half a mile.

The boys pulled out a high-powered rifle and dispatched the beast, and the biologist survived, though not without four bear-tooth shaped holes in his head.

Which is to say that Steve Irwin is a fucking pussy. Or a right girl's blouse. Or whatever.
(TommyShanks, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 18:06, Reply)