Mosquitoes!!!!
Here in Manchester it's not too bad, but in Tenerife... Oh, how I hate them! It's not only that they suck your blood; it's not that they have to leave the poison inside your skin; it's that the stupid bloody thingies MUST wake you up in the middle of the night!!!! Why? WHY???

But after years of suffering I've found the solution. And it has nothing to do with insecticides (too hot to sleep with the window closed, so they're a waste). The trick is to cover yourself with the sheet almost completely, leaving only a bit of your cheek available for dinner. Put your hand, covered with the sheet, close to the uncovered cheek, and wait. It will come. Oh, I know it will come.

You hear it. It's getting closer, checking if it's safe. And you don't move and try to breathe normally, until it finally stops on your cheek. Now, this is the difficult part. You can't move or it will fly. You have to wait until you feel it starts sucking, and THEN!!!! HIT IT WITH YOUR HAND!!! NOW!!! DEAD!!! FOREVER!!! JAJAJAJAJA!!!!

Oh, how I hate them....
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Apr 2008, 19:57, 4 replies)

They do have one redeeming feature.
You can twat someone on the back of the head and get away with it by telling them that there was a mosquito there.

I've used that trick many times...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 24 Apr 2008, 20:00, closed)

Oh, that´s nasty
But, yeah, I´ve done it too...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Apr 2008, 20:02, closed)

I've used a similar method myself.
A friend once told me that if you let one land on your bicep, wait till its proboscis thingy pierces you and it's having a good old feed, then suddeenly flex your muscle, the blood will rush into its body and it will explode!
Haven't verified this, though...
( enceladus, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 21:58, closed)

Mmmmm
I´d like to try, although I fear my bicep will not be strong enough for that (I´m a little, weak girl, you see...) But I´ll ask one of my friends to do it. I must see it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 24 Apr 2008, 22:07, closed)