Barnaby
Years ago I was living with an ex, she worked up the road at a convenience store, sometimes until quite late.

Now there were stray cats that used to float around the back of the block of shops, and unfortunately they bred and then there were heaps of kittens.
I felt pretty bad about it, as did she, so we would buy a few cans of food every now and then and put food out in the car park for them.

Turns out, and explains why they were so well fed, that the dude that owned the Chinese restaurant was leaving his scraps out for them (ha ha no jokes), as were other workers at the ex's shop.

These things were really timid, you couldn't get close to them at all, I always tried to coax them over, but they wouldn't have a bar of it.

Anyways, someone had alerted the council about the cat problem, and they started to set up traps.
We felt pretty bad about it, but for a week or so they managed to avoid getting themselves trapped.
We started to notice that the cat population was getting smaller and smaller, and that was when the ex decided she wanted a pet kitten.
A pet kitten to name Barnaby.

I wander down to her work just near closing time, around midnight, we lock up, and we go downstairs to see if any kittens are around, and we notice that there are a few trapped in one of the traps.

The ex decides on which one she wants and proceeds to open the trap.
At this stage I am starting to think this is a bad idea as the kittens were starting to panic.
She gets the trap open, grabs Barnaby, he goes stiff.

Then he shrieked. I swear to God he sounded like he was being slaughtered. I have only ever heard cats in cat fights scream this loud, but this was much worse than that.
It was so loud that the neighbours actually came out to see what we were doing.

At the same time Barnaby manages to twist his body 180 degrees and locks his claws into the ex. He spins one more time, screaming at the top of his lungs and manages to lock his teeth into her forearm.

By this stage I am absolutely pissing myself laughing, getting a bit worried about the noise that's being made. Somehow the ex managed to peel a flailing Barnaby off her arms and he shot through.

As we walked home we tried to see how much damage he did, but we couldn't see the wounds due to the fact her arm was covered in blood.
Absolutely shredded, and bruised really crazy over the next week.

I've seriously never seen nor heard anything like it.

Barnaby, where ever you are son, my hat goes off to you, you're quite possibly the most evil son of a bitch I have ever come across.

And you were a 10 week old kitten.
(sinewriter, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 13:23, Reply)