Potuguese Arse Biting
When I was around 10, we went on a family holiday to Portugal. We were staying in a fairly small family-run hotel, somewhere on the coast. The owners had a big rottweiler that lived outside, round the side of the building. I've always been a sucker for dogs and quickly made friends with it, popping round there to say hello and give it a stroke. It seemed very friendly at the time. That was all part of its plan though, befriending me, whilst secretly planning to eat me.

On one of the last days of the holiday, I went round to see "El Rover" and as I was walking towards him he lept up with a growl and charged towards me. This thing was huge and very scary looking so I span around and ran for my life. The dog actually had a large chain, attaching him to a wall (which in hindsight should have told me something) but unfortunately just inches before the chain yanked him back, he managed to take a chunk out of my arse. It hurt like hell.

That wasn't the worst of it though. Hearing the dog's barks, and no doubt my screams, the owner came rushing out yelling something in Potuguese and promptly pulled down my shorts and pants to take a look at the bite. By this time quite a crowd had gathered to see this blubbering 10 year old with his pants around his ankles while a buxom Portuguese lady examined his arse. Nice!
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 15:18, Reply)