The love that dare not speak it's name
My mate D spent some of his gap year working in a wild animal sanctuary in Malaysia.

One day he was happily cleaning the area next to the orangutan enclosure when suddenly a huge hairy orange hand reached through the bars of the enclosure and grabbed him round the back of head.

D froze, having been told the best thing to do if grabbed by one of the animals was not to struggle as most would then think you were dead and drop you.. However this didn't seem to have much of an effect as the orangutan then slowly but surely began to pull him towards the cage. D twisted his head round to come face-to-face with Omar, the biggest and most bad-ass of all the male orangutans in the sanctuary.

Now in fear of his life, either from being crushed against the cage or by simply being ripped apart, D then noticed something worse.

Omar was only holding him with one hand because he was furiously wanking himself silly with the other.

With the new threat of being horrifically raped, or at least getting a load of monkeyspunk in his hair D redoubled his efforts and managed to break free.

Apparently Omar just sat there and carried on but did have a rather disappointed look on his face.

D steered clear of the orangutan enclosure for the next few weeks.
(Milo Minderbinder, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 15:32, 2 replies)

Just asking but....
Did your friend have long red hair.
( girlinthehole, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 15:35, closed)

gingers
Just goes to show all gingers are wankers...
(chrismoo, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 20:08, closed)