Did I mention Chainsaw Cat?
My mother used to have a close friend. Her husband was one of the most unpleasant people I have ever met. He was generally reckoned to be a kiddy-fiddler, as well as being utterly disgusting in person.

Did I mention he was also very stupid? Most people know not to come between a cat and its dinner. Not this perve. He grabbed the cat and picked her up. The vigorous growling didn't put him off. Then my Dad put the cat bowls down, rather more loudly than usual.

Mr. Perve stuck his tongue out at the growling cat. The next few seconds are something of a blur. I do know that the cat hit the floor a few seconds later, and trotted over to her food.

I also know that Mr. Perve didn't notice the four shallow scratches on his cheek, because of the three deep scratches across his tongue!

His wife dropped him at the hospital on her way home...
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 21:14, Reply)