Raar! Dog attack!
Several months back, my stepmum decided for whatever reason to get a new dog. As such, when my dad got home from work he was greeted by a friendly little black labrador named Jess. However, what the people at the pound decided not to mention was that the dog was (and still is) an absolute hyperactive mental case.

As such, she's great fun to play with, the problem being that she wants to play all the time regardless of whether you're trying to read the paper/eat dinner/fix a faulty plug/whatever. When she's not bringing a ball to you and nudging your leg until you throw it, she's running around crazily, barking at nothing in particular. Sometimes playing with her can be a bit like pass-the-parcel with live fireworks. Fun, but liable to cause injury.

The actual qotw-relevent incident occured when I was down my dad's one weekend. I was chatting to my dad in his bedroom when he dropped something, and being the helpful chap I am, I leaned across the bed to pick it up.
Unfortunately Jess decided then was a good time to run upstairs into the room and jump up onto the bed.

Landing paw-first on my nads.

Startled by my subsequent shout of pain/surprise, she tried to escape. This involved her scrabbling around on my back, before finally propelling herself off, in the process delivering a sharp kick to the back of my head.
Her five seconds of mayhem complete, she then ran back downstairs, leaving my dad sniggering in the corner and me lying on the bed quietly whimpering. When I came down a few minutes later she was sitting on the sofa, with a simpleton grin that clearly said "That was great fun, wasn't it? Wanna throw the ball for me?"

Bitch.
(Uncle Comrade, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 13:11, Reply)