Oh, and on the subject of Legless' 'waay haay' crabs...
Until fairly recently, crabs in the seaside village of Newbiggin (in Northumberland, and apparently Brian Blessed's favourite holiday destination - God know's why, it's picturesque, but shit) had developed the art of bungee jumping.

Eventually, the lasses of the village got fed up with this and resorted to cutting the strings off their tampons.


I'm really sorry for the poor taste. However, anyone who has been to Newbiggin will probably understand. Dear God, it is a shithole. I went to support a mate's band at a pub gig there a few months ago and it was probably the grimmest experience of my whole life. He sacked his bass player not long after for booking the gig in the first place.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 22:42, 5 replies)

Shoot
Davros, I need new glasses. I read "he sucked his bass player for booking it'. "What an odd punishment", I thought...
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 23:24, closed)

Newbiggin?
Nah, it's a Longbenton.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 1 May 2008, 9:07, closed)

I'd rather have
A Newbiggin than a Longbenton...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 May 2008, 9:47, closed)

*Snigger*
What's your mates' band called?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 1 May 2008, 9:51, closed)

They were
called Teacup Head (or TCH), but are now defunct. Pete's off doing stuff with his girlfriend Pam as an acoustic duo called Beeblefish.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 1 May 2008, 10:21, closed)