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This is a question When Animals Attack

I once witnessed my best friend savaged near to death by a flock of rampant killer sheep.

It's a kill-or-be-killed world out there and poor Steve Irwin never made it back alive. Tell us your tales of survival.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 14:45)
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Bert lived
in a big castle surrounded by a moat, full of boats carrying stoats riding goats
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:13, 21 replies)
I like this!

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:13, closed)
were they all
eating toast?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:14, closed)
and I loved them the
most?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:14, closed)
even
the ghosts?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:15, closed)
Especially the ghosts
But even more so, the dotes.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:16, closed)
were they
wearing coats?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:17, closed)
who
the goats?
(I helped save b3ta! flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 1 May 2008, 16:18, closed)
and scarves
around their throats.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:18, closed)
Not to mention a guard
for their scrotes.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:20, closed)
If they squeeze their scrotes
they can hit the high notes!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:21, closed)
And when they were done they could eat up their
oats.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:22, closed)
I hope everyone in London
remembered to cast their votes
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:23, closed)
Sod that for a game of soldiers.
I can't think of anything that rhymes now...

Off to Koko tonight? You'll probably see my brother, look out for a 6 foot ginger ninja
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:25, closed)
Yes I am!
I will keep my eyes out. Really looking forward to this gig!

Oh yeah...something something something moats
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:28, closed)
Bloat!
Float!
Cote!
Zygote!
Jote! (as in 'to jot')
Er...

Quote!
Wrote!
Cloat...?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:31, closed)
Clit?
Dirty Bert.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:32, closed)
nobody said anything about clit!
You're the pervert!

Unless cloat is some kind of verb to do with them that I've never heard of..?

'I will cloat you in the clit' kind of thing?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:36, closed)
You calling me a pervert?!?!?!
You rude little bas...

oh, wait. Pervert. Yes, yes I am.

Apologies.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:39, closed)
That's ok
*cloats you in the clit*

*hopes you like it*

:D
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:41, closed)
*receives cloat in clit*
*makes a lovely knitted hat out of it*
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:45, closed)
Pffft
that really made me chuckle!

Smashing jumper by the way.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 May 2008, 16:47, closed)

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