Time and a place, FFS
Yes I know I shouldn't complain, but it is annoying. Mrs SLVA and I are a very touchy feely couple, as if we'd just met or something. Consequently she knows all the places to trace a finger over to get my pulse racing. Those little touches and stroking, combined with certain body language and her 'tongue in her cheek' expression that means "I think I might suck you off, do you mind?" and she can give me at least a semi far too easily.

Why am I complaining I hear you ask. It's nice when lying in bed watching a DVD, or on the sofa when all the kids have gone out. All romantic and soppy and intimate.

It's not so good when walking around Tesco, when I can feel it extending down my leg and I have to walk like I have a small stone in my shoe, pull my jacket down and carry my basket in front of me in an attempt to conceal my tumescence.

She'd laugh, I'd laugh back and tell her to piss off, the we'd carry on shopping. 5 minutes later, it starts again.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 23:24, 4 replies)

You need "Trust Me Trousers".

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 23:35, closed)

Just visualise me shagging her. That should sort things for you. I can send pics if it would help.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 23:57, closed)

Haha
That sounds like a brilliant way of relieving shopping boredom, thanks for the tip :p
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 12:59, closed)

It works both ways
Just get her all worked up, then loudly point out that she has little nipple erections.

Or just walk around holding her hand without it proudly sticking out at kiddy eye level, she will be just as embarrassed as you and stop doing it.
(Little Animal Disaster isn't finishing what he started, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 15:39, closed)