I once dated a septic
Quite a game lass and pretty filthy, one of her more annoying habits was trying to stick things in my arse. She loved a thumb up there herself, (although never let me get me my brown wings, just a slight discolouration under the nail) therefore she couldn't understand why I didn't want her probing my chocolate brownie. Ever since the first time someone tried that and scratched me internally it has always induced a very strong sphinctal clenching, hard enough to break a finger. Yet every time we got down to it she would be there trying to drive up a one way street, it always put me off my stroke.

Other annoying habits included:

Believing everything was American, including the Beatles and the Spice Girls.

Not believing that "learned" was a real word, as in "He was a learned scholar." Because she had never heard it before.

Violently country dancing in public.

and countless more, the things we put up with for regular sex.
(Little Animal Disaster isn't finishing what he started, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 23:40, 4 replies)

Septics and the Hershey Highway
Among my conquests are four Septics. They've all been game birds, and three of them displayed quite an unsavoury interest in my tradesman's entrance. But I forgave them, as they performed some of the most exquisite fellatio it has been my pleasure to receive. For some reason I have yet to fathom, but for which I am profoundly grateful, Septic gals always seem to treat the humble blow job as an art form.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 0:47, closed)

ahh regular sex
'memory's of happier times'




gets tissue and sock/kitteh/puppy/apple pie
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 10:02, closed)

I do like the idea of violent country dancing.

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sat 6 Aug 2011, 12:58, closed)

I didn't
It involved violently lurching forwards and pulling up just before headbutting her dance partner and stamping noisily on the floor, much to our downstairs neighbours displeasure. It seemed to lack all sense of rhythm too.
(Little Animal Disaster isn't finishing what he started, Sat 6 Aug 2011, 13:13, closed)