Depressing
Anyone else agree that it's terrible the amount of people on here moaning about their current partners? And I don't mean the nice stuff that annoys you about someone but you couldn't actually live without, rather the chronic unhappiness that some b3tans seem to be suffering from at the hands of their other halves?

I'm all for hearing and laughing about the batshitmental partners people have escaped, but fuck, is this really the place to work out if you're in a godawful soul destroying relationship?

Surely it would be better to be happy and single (or looking) than in a relationship of (in)convenience for the sake of it?

Or is that just me? (and stop calling me Shirley)
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Sun 7 Aug 2011, 23:44, 17 replies)

Being single means you lose a lot of social and financial status.
And it means you're more likely to be seen as some kind of weirdo. So for most folk there are quite a few benefits to be had from dragging a relationship out as far as it will go, regardless of how incompatible the participants are.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 7 Aug 2011, 23:47, closed)

ahem. where to start...
aspire to be more, not to have more.
the number of unhappy people out there who are trapped by the illusion of material wealth, who stick with dead relationships because they're simply afraid to be on their own and be responsible for their own success or failure.
social status? that's a figment, that is.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 0:01, closed)

I agree with the longest sentence in that post.
To clarify what I meant about social status: in my experience, if you're over 18 and single for any significant period of time it's generally assumed you're defective goods or a sex offender.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 0:08, closed)

do you not agree that we should aspire to be more, not to have more?
and as for the general assumptions that people make (i acknowledge that it happens), well they're just assumptions. don't make it true.
i reckon people need to worry a bit less about what other people think of them and focus more on what actually matters...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 0:15, closed)

The one problem with that view is that it makes stupid people get very arrogant and stroppy.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 0:22, closed)

which view?
the worrying about what others think?
or that we should aspire?
or that people make untrue assumptions?
seriously, i'm not baiting here, but want to know.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 0:26, closed)

The aspiration one.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 0:30, closed)

aah, yes. that old hippy chestnut.
mental and emotional flexibility (resilience?) is required to handle the shit that life throws at us. if we don't bend then we break.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 0:38, closed)

Ye've gorra laff, in't yer.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 0:47, closed)

have you seen "Clockwise"?
right at the end, as the cops are driving cleese away:
"it's not the despair, i can handle the despair.
it's the hope!"
to be an optimist i reckon you need to be either a bit thick or pretty damned flexible.
so yeah, ye've gorra laff, in't yer!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 0:58, closed)

Assumed by whom?
By the world?
Or by you?
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 14:34, closed)

If people think you're a weirdo it hurts your career, for example.
For some reason people tend to trust those who are in a serious relationship or married more than single people.
Personally, I am a bit of an anti-social weirdo but even before people had the time to find this out they'd have me down as a psycho who's probably on some list. I've friends in similar positions.
Bottom line is what other people think does matter because the only way to get a job, career or any other form of income is through other people.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 17:53, closed)

There's a lot of what you say that I just don't buy.
Plenty of folk reckon/know that I'm an anti-social weirdo/mentalist. So fucking what? Doesn't alter what I'm capable of. Doesn't stop me achieving what I achieve. Simple fact is that what other people think of me doesn't really alter how I go about my day-to-day. Why? Cos I'm happy to let other folk think what they want. Folk jump to conclusions about us all the time, the only way this can really make any difference (based on my 28yrs of worklife experience) is if we play the role they give us. IMHO. Personally I just get on with it all, try and do my best and constantly strive to improve myself and the life I provide for my family. I've had a few lengthy periods of singledome and I reckon they probably did me the world of good. After all, I'm not scared of being single or being thought of as weird.
Fuck 'em!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:04, closed)

It takes a good manager to hire someone they think is odd.
There are good managers out there, but not all managers are good.
I've known plenty of people who have been good at their jobs but are considered "weird" and the managers who have written them off.
The opinion of the person hiring you is what gets, or looses, the job -- your ability may outweigh your weirdness but it could easily not.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:17, closed)

Which is probably why I choose to work for myself.
;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 8 Aug 2011, 21:32, closed)

Good plan.

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 22:55, closed)

Is there a wrong place or time to work out if you're in a godawful etc?
Seems to me, the sooner the better.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 18:27, closed)