Anonymous underpants donation
A few years ago I decided to anonymously donate my underpants to a local pub.

Well, when I say donate, it was actually more of a covert disposal mission that I was forced to undertake after managing to shit myself as I got off the tube at the end of a heavy night out. Said pub was the nearest place to me with a toilet and luckily the boozer was still open. I had no option but to go inside, find the toilets then lock myself in a cubicle before initiating the tricky operation of removing my trainers and jeans before carefully stripping the shit-strewn garment from my body and hiding it inside the toilet cistern (Well where else was I going to put it, on the window cill?). As it was quite runny there was a fair bit of poo inside my jeans, but I just had to live with that as I put them back on, grimaces a plenty, before setting off on the 25min walk home to get myself cleaned up.

I’ve often wondered what the reaction from the pub staff must have been like when the source of the inhumane stench in the gents was finally discovered. And I can assure you I am not in the least bit proud of any of this.




I still go back there occasionally; they do a fantastic Sunday roast.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 12:45, 4 replies)

have you
ever checked the cistern to see if they've been removed?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:13, closed)

No
I guessed from the lack of shit-smell upon my return a couple of weeks later that it has been removed.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 17:00, closed)

Repeated flushing surely would have diluted it. They could still be there now!
(evil_hound last barked at the moon on, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 13:12, closed)

Hmmm, I hadn't thought of that
I may well have a look the next time I'm in there. I could do with an extra pair anyway.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 13:17, closed)