Upset a rubbish town
Remember the Geordie Citizen and Whitley Bay Citizen? Humourous semi-satirical digs at council ineptness and awful local papers, and the non-news they report.

Probably don't remember the lesser-known St Neots Citizen, of which I can rightfully claim to be "Editor".

Earlier in 2009, local overgrown-housing-estate-posing-as-a-new-town Cambourne, between St Neots and Cambridge, became momentarily famous for having the highest birthrates in the world. International news and everything don't cha know!

This called for a little light ribbing, or perhaps ripping. Cambourne Mums Can't Keep Legs Together was quickly knocked up, much like many of the mums in the village, complete with an actual real quote stolen from a proper newspaper and all sorts.

I typed, I posted, me and my hundred or so regular readers went about our day.

Until the local papers took up the story, following a complaint from an aggrieved Cambourne slapper. My fifteen minutes of infamy had arrived. This being the arse end of Cambridgeshire, it was "reasonably big news" for a while.

Sadly, though, the Citizen is published anonymously. So I had an entire village full of chavfactories fuming at me, but not actually knowijg who I was.

Comment for the letter the crazy wench sent to the local paper. Length, girth apologies.
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 2:46, 5 replies)

i live near cambridge
and feel really bloody put out i didn't hear of this... not even the highest birthrate whatsit.
(kellysprinkles dying for a pee since, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 11:12, closed)

I'm a professional lurker...
but actually logged in to like this, if only for the gem "
The editor added that children made jokes about each other's mothers regardless of internet articles." (and the fact you managed to enrage the humourless mothers of Cambourne)
( UseAName Because you cant get the bends if you muff dive., Sat 16 Jan 2010, 12:13, closed)

The woman who complained
was fucking mental.
This is what she sent to the local paper:
"Dear [editor of the News & Crier]

Who are the St Neots Citizen?

I live in Cambourne and frankly nearly fell off my chair reading the articles printed in this so called newspaper. I have tried subscribing but it won’t let me I have now applied to register and am waiting for an e mail as you have to leave details.

The article will I think create enormous problems especially with School age children mixing with other children not from here. Can you imagine a new boy in School or some other child wanting to start a fight. This idiot of an “editor” has just created a weapon of sorts. Imagine the scenario – 1st Hi where are you from, answer Cambourne, 1st, oh your one of those kids whose mom can’t keep her legs together.

And what! The fight is on. As for the little children who seem to hear “everything” can you imagine the pain and emotions of these children thinking mummy has no morals – has nothing better to do than “shag”

I am so past furious that some idiot would put this on line and appears to think we would find humour in it, a lot of us do not! It is slander and certainly not humorous.

Councillors are called F**kwits in the first article and the poor OAP’S in the third article- Lord knows what they feel if they have read it or have heard about it

As an editor I think you should make enquiries about this rag after all you are St Neots and this reflects very badly. The NHS should be involved and track down this person and sue

Please print something in your paper re this matter, having a baby is a natural occurrence it doesn’t make you a whore and no one has the right to make such slurs about the women in Cambourne

Regards"

I nearly spat tea over the keyboard
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 13:15, closed)

ah the delights of
cambourne and st neots. Do they still have a horde of knuckle dragging chavs kicking off a big fight every Friday night outside the oh so exclusive Priory bar?
(sugar_tits, Sun 17 Jan 2010, 23:33, closed)

Nah, we have
shootings now: Cambridge Evening News

Stupid fucking pikeys can't aim straight though; missed the bouncer and got the door. From a range of about two feet. With a fucking shotgun.

Twat.
(MightyX5 living on a small island on, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 1:44, closed)