stalking
several years ago, i was friends with a girl named jane. jane's dad owned an off-licence, which she worked in practically every day. i would very often sit with her to keep her company and laugh at the drunks that came in.
one day, we were looking at some photos of jane's recent holiday, when i spotted a really ugly bloke in the background of one pic.
"who's that minger?" i asked. "no idea," she replied, "just some random bloke in the pub."
on seeing this spectacular munter, an idea had begun to form. a bad, yet good idea, one that involved our mutual and newly single friend, debbie. we would send her a letter from this man, declaring his undying love for her! what a great wheeze!
as debbie was familiar with my atrocious handwriting, i dictated the letter and jane wrote it. there was a lot of "i've watched you from afar" and "you're the most beautiful woman i've ever seen", with added "i've asked the girl in the chippy where you live". chuckling away to ourselves, we slipped the ugly man's photo into the envelope along with the letter and posted it.
then we waited.
three days later, debbie came running into the shop, clearly distressed. "i'm being stalked by and ugmo!" she cried. "here, read this!" she thrust the all-too familiar letter into my hand. she was clearly upset by the fact that she believed this bloke had been asking people where she lived. jane and i both made great play of reading this letter, trying to convince her it was romantic rather than creepy. "but he's ugly!" she wailed. "he's not that bad, actually," i replied. jane agreed. debbie looked at him anew. "well," she said, "he's all right, i suppose. he wants to meet me tonight at the train station. should i go?"
at this point, jane and i could no longer restrain ourselves and burst into laughter. "it was us!" i yelled, "we sent the letter!"
with her face slowly turning a dark, mottled purple, debbie turned on her heel and stalked out of the shop. she didn't speak to me for a month.
she got her own back, though; i'd left a pair of knickers in her house when i'd stayed the night. they were proper granny-warmers. she wrote my name on them in black permanent marker, took them to the local pub and pinned them to the dartboard.
funnily enough, we're still friends :)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 20:01, 3 replies)

lol, quality revenge :D

( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 20:09, closed)

it was
but i totally deserved it. it was so funny, i wasn't even angry!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 20:12, closed)

well....
...as long as they were clean :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 20:14, closed)