Pizza Surprise for the cadets.
Back in my younger and sillier days, I was a member of the Boy Scouts. We had recently had an Eagle Scout leave the troop to go to School at West Point, the big US military academy in New York. Because of this, the rest of the troop got invited to go to a several day long camp out at West Point for the next several years. Imagine if you will, being surrounded by large Army men, big guns and fire, along with an awesome obstacle course to boot. Naturally, this was a great deal of fun for my thirteen year-old self, but I felt the need to go and do something mean and silly.

I had decided I was going to play some sort of prank on the cadets, and it suddenly hit me one night when the entire groups of scouts and cadets were all gathered for the night in the same field, and I spied a discarded pizza box. I stole away to the portajohns with my pizza box, and unleashed a mammoth, steaming smelly shit into it. The sort where you stand up after and feel as if your anus had become an inch or two wider. I was positively gleeful when I saw that it had all come out in one piece. After the requisite wiping and washing of hands, I went out in search of an appropriate target.

Finally, I placed it on the ground in a patch of light and retreated to the dark area on the top of the hill to watch it unfold. Within five minutes, two young cadets came over and saw a pizza box in the middle of the field. They crouched down, and I remember one of them rubbed his hands together getting excited about his scavenged pizza. Then he opened it and they both fell over on their ass. I remember watching as they fought over who had to deal with it and what they had to do, all while silently laughing like a total loon.

Sadly, all true.
( Ithyphallophobia, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 3:46, 2 replies)

The States..
...must be an odd place.
If I see a pizza box on the ground, I automatically assume it to be empty.
Even if it wasn't, I'd never, ever, think of eating anything from it!

It's as if you think there are food fairies or something.....
(greatoldone Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl f'tagn, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 7:12, closed)

U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A.
Woo hoo, that is truly disgusting. well done.
( spingers, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 8:32, closed)