Awesome Sickies
A colleague has been off work for two weeks now - apparently he's got something they can't diagnose, (although they know for sure it's not Legionnaires, Malaria, BSE or AIDS, he's supposedly in isolation). We are all sure he's merely sitting in the sun waiting for the World Cup to come on the telly.
What have you invented to get off work?
( , Fri 9 Jun 2006, 7:40)
A colleague has been off work for two weeks now - apparently he's got something they can't diagnose, (although they know for sure it's not Legionnaires, Malaria, BSE or AIDS, he's supposedly in isolation). We are all sure he's merely sitting in the sun waiting for the World Cup to come on the telly.
What have you invented to get off work?
( , Fri 9 Jun 2006, 7:40)
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Remembered Another
I was at a mates house one day, we're watching t.v whilst his dad sleeps off last nights' beverages on the sofa.
His missus comes in, wakes him and reminds him his still hasn't phoned work to tell them why he's off.
So he picks up the phone and makes up some amazing tale of how he's just single-handedly fought off a fire in his kitchen with little more than a tea-towel and his own brilliance.
Smug sod puts down the phone with a big grin on his face and goes back to sleep.
Said mate decides he doesn't like the example his dear old dad is setting and proceeds to vanish to the garage for a few minutes.
He comes back with that super-strength silver duct tape. Cuts off two strips and quite literally *SLAPS* the strips to his dads' eye-brows.
His dad wakes up from the slapping motions but thinks we're just arsing about so tells us to fuck off and goes back to sleep.
Maybe if he'd noticed there and then the loss of eye-brow hair might not have been so bad.
But he slept for a good 2/3 hours before noticing and painfully removing the strips... and his eye-brows off course.
Next day in work he has evidence of fighting the blaze. (And it turns out that no eye-brows stand out a mile on bald blokes as apposed to full-haired blokes.)
( , Fri 9 Jun 2006, 11:23, Reply)
I was at a mates house one day, we're watching t.v whilst his dad sleeps off last nights' beverages on the sofa.
His missus comes in, wakes him and reminds him his still hasn't phoned work to tell them why he's off.
So he picks up the phone and makes up some amazing tale of how he's just single-handedly fought off a fire in his kitchen with little more than a tea-towel and his own brilliance.
Smug sod puts down the phone with a big grin on his face and goes back to sleep.
Said mate decides he doesn't like the example his dear old dad is setting and proceeds to vanish to the garage for a few minutes.
He comes back with that super-strength silver duct tape. Cuts off two strips and quite literally *SLAPS* the strips to his dads' eye-brows.
His dad wakes up from the slapping motions but thinks we're just arsing about so tells us to fuck off and goes back to sleep.
Maybe if he'd noticed there and then the loss of eye-brow hair might not have been so bad.
But he slept for a good 2/3 hours before noticing and painfully removing the strips... and his eye-brows off course.
Next day in work he has evidence of fighting the blaze. (And it turns out that no eye-brows stand out a mile on bald blokes as apposed to full-haired blokes.)
( , Fri 9 Jun 2006, 11:23, Reply)
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