Cheeky pearoast
The wonder that was Mr Wallace.


I am a chubby ginger nerd, not gay, but fairly camp. I don't like sports, and was sent to an all-boys secondary school.

The bullies could smell me from miles away.

My entire school life was a misery. I was beaten, tortured, abuse was hurled at me from every direction, I was once bottled in the street for being ginger.

My mother called the school, who asked me who the bullies were, gave them one stinking detention (and let's face it, these kids probably had one every day anyway) which just fuelled the beatings, and my father did nothing as, apparantly, having your face rubbed in mud builds character.

I went the sensible route of telling people, the stupid route of attempted suicide, even the useless route of acting all friendly to your attackers, but nothing worked.

One day, when I was 16, I got pulled out of school early because my nan had died. In the time it took my mum to pick me up, and drive me home, my dog had also died.

The next day, I arrived at the school gate with a note for my form tutor explaining what had happened, and just asking to keep an eye on me if I got upset all of a sudden.
It was taken out of my pocket by a big fucker called David. He was one of those kids who must have hit puberty around 4 years old, and had a full beard before anyone else had pubes.
He read the note to his friends, ripped it up, and began to tell a delightful story about him having sex with my grandmother's corpse.

I know it is a cliché, but I realy don't remember much of what happened, as it was all a bit of a blur. All I know is that when I was found by the fence in the foetal position, all of David's 'friends' had abandoned him, and he was lying face down by the kerb, screaming, attempting to gather up his teeth.

It slowly came out as the school investigated it that I had literally jumped at him, onto his back, and hit him until he had fallen to the ground, then smashed his head against the floor.

I was about to be expelled when my favourite teacher of all time, Mr Wallace, who had, on many occasions councilled me through problems, and who I still consider a friend today, called attention to a folder.
In true 'Miracle on 34th St' fashion, it was emptied onto the head's desk. It contained no less than 100 sheets of paper, each of them chronicalling a bullying/attack incident against me over the course of around 5 years. The bottling to the head, my bag being set alight, being force-fed insects, they were all there, and nobody had done a fucking thing to help me except Mr Wallace, who saved my life.

I make no apoligies for length, but probably should for coming across as a mental-case.
(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 12:49, 12 replies)

Thank fuck...
for Mr Wallace. I sincerely hope that every school has one.
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 13:24, closed)

When my son was being bullied...
...we had a meeting with his teacher who asked "How are we going to modify [NAME]'s behaviour so he won't be bullied again?"

We modified his behaviour: We sent him to a different school that gives a fuck about its pupils. He is no longer bullied.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 13:45, closed)

I like this attitude a lot
( elgordo, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 15:07, closed)

Ummm
Are you still ginger then?
There's a click in it if you're not.
(Klangtarnflatchslapper looks just like a Telefunken U-47, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 14:56, closed)

Actually, I am sort of not...
...in my late teens-early 20s, it got a lot darker. It still has red in it, but it's a lot more reddy-brown than the brighter orangey-red I had pre-teen.
(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Fri 18 Mar 2011, 2:48, closed)

i have to ask
what do insects taste like?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 16:38, closed)

Depends which ones
Mealworms are a bit porridgy, crickets in caramel are , well, caramelly!
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 17:59, closed)

i'll avoid the mealworms, then
porridge is nasty!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Mar 2011, 16:55, closed)

I am told that tarantula is delicious
But I'll be buggered if I eat that!
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 18 Mar 2011, 20:44, closed)

they make great pets
i may get another one someday.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 19 Mar 2011, 17:37, closed)

It's a bit like the video doing the rounds at the minute with the fat kid tombstoning the bully who punches him in the face a few times. Little fuckers deserve it!!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 17 Mar 2011, 17:58, closed)

It's really scary going through the red-mist...
... I've only really gone through it once, when I was about 13. A kid in my dorm (not even a bully), turned round and told me to "go toss off your dead Dad" - I thought I hit him once and it took four people to drag me off him.

Still (trying not to sound mental!), wow what an amazing teacher -and well done for hitting back without arsenals, blackbelts or Hondas.
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Wed 23 Mar 2011, 1:31, closed)