Several drunken bashes, a 155 mile walk of shame, and getting knocked up by a midget.
I've been a QOTW regular for over four years now. I remember the good old days when all this was textfields and no replies. Everything I've posted about on here has been true with the exception of a story about my prize fighting whelk, Rocky.

But I digress... Back in 2009 I went to a B3ta stagbash - Devil_In_Tights was getting married and we decided to get absolutely pissed in his honour. It was a hot day, I hadn't eaten very much, and I arrived in that there London with the intention of having a glass or two of wine and a late train back to Bristol. Instead, I woke up in Hertford with fellow B3tan Captain V, a.k.a. Catface, on a sofabed in his parents' dining room. At least I knew his username. I had no idea where Hertford was but a quick text to some other B3tans and I established I had a 155 mile Walk of Shame ahead of me in a broken pair of shoes. Turns out I quite liked the young man, which was lucky as he knocked me up a short time later. The conversations with friends and family were convoluted, to say the least:

"Yes, I'm pregnant. Well, we've been together for a couple of months... Um, he's bipolar too. Yeah, met him at a party. Well, I knew him from the Internet. No, not from a mental health website. Well, sort of. From B3ta. Er, like a creative writing site. No mum, you can't have the link to it. Of course he's lovely. He's a bit shorter than me, yeah but what's three or four inches, eh? Fnarr. oh, and he's a bit younger than me. Okay, he's 12 years younger than me."

Thanks to B3ta I found the bloke I want to grow old with (although I have a head start) and we have one of those noisy children things. Our daughter was born in July 2010. We married in December 2010 with a bunch of b3tans at the wedding, who we rickrolled in place of a reading. Catfaceceilidhbaby is a technohappy one year old who makes every day a joy. In true QOTW fashion she likes breasts.

Thank you, B3ta. And thank you, b3tans.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:42, 6 replies)

As instructed I have clicked.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:51, closed)

You're easier to bully than al in a half-marathon.
"Al, it's the last mile! The last fucking mile! Come on, pick up your feet and RUN! A mile is fucking nothing, man! RUN!"
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:52, closed)

I didn't even have the energy to be upset.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:01, closed)

Are you at work?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:37, closed)

Yes

(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 14:17, closed)

you crazy internet people

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:55, closed)

Fluffy stuff.

(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 15:36, closed)

10 years
and that edit/reply bug is still going strong.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 21:24, closed)

I am compelled to say what a beautiful story
Clicky, funny place this, you can't help but love it.
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 22:44, closed)

great story
Good luck with motherhood, bipolar and life. Click
(justin(e), Fri 16 Sep 2011, 10:13, closed)