A B3ta poem wot I wrote for it's birthday and wotnot...

Before this website came along my life was dull as shite
Spent half the day sat on the bog and fwapped for half the night,
How could I put my own two favourite pastimes to good use?
And give the helpless t’interwebz some regular abuse?

Then I stumbled upon B3ta, and I saw there was a way!
A ridiculous ray of hope to guide me through my working day
The image challenge made me laugh so hard I couldn’t stop
I wanted to join in but I am crap with Photoshop :(

I thought I couldn’t contribute, the outlook was quite bleak,
Until I clicked upon a link entitled ‘Question of the week’
I read so many stories that my life won’t be the same
So I thought I'd try and post a tale about my latest shame...

I had a toilet ‘accident’ and thought that I would share…
I crossed my fingers wondering if anyone would care?
The comments I received made me feel glad my pants were shat
And people laughed at how I was a useless, drunken twat

From those beginnings I have formed a myriad of friends
The posts keep flying in – this fucking madness never ends!
So I’m proud to be a B3tard and I’ll celebrate with beers…
Happy Birthday B3ta, here’s to the next 10 mental years!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:57, 5 replies)

Yay.....
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:01, closed)

That's different, and v nicely too
Thanks for the posts matey, you've made an office very happy with some of the random shit you've come up with :D

My own personal fave from any post on QOTW, and I've read years worth on here
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:24, closed)

I missed that
The first time round.

Have a retrospective (non existent) click pooflake
( bane, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 20:47, closed)

*pastimes

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:26, closed)

*swoops in like ninja*...

*edits*

*apologises and thanks Janet*

*disappears into night with dignity intact*

*remembers that I have no dignity*

*cries a bit*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:18, closed)

*favourite [space] pastimes

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:24, closed)

Oh FFS!!
I'm trying to do this on my phone!

I have no excuse... You are providing an invaluable service.

:(
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:26, closed)

You should be our poet laureate.

( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 18:29, closed)

^ Very much this.
xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 21:21, closed)

You got my vote.
XXX*





*Edit
Not gay.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 22:20, closed)