I still have a babysitter.
I'm quite a slow typer, which isn't great for me, as my babysitter only lets me on the computer for two minu
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 11:02, 17 replies)

This joke fails
because if you had time to click 'post', you had time to press the next key - T. And to post the joke, you'd still need to click 'post' - so you also had time for the next key, E. And so on and so on until you complete the sentence, removing the point of the joke. Therefore, the only way to make this sort of joke is not post it at all. Which works out well for all.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 11:10, closed)

Oh you're so mature!
Look everyone - it's Victor Mature!

*points and laughs*
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 11:14, closed)

Is your real name Victor Mature
Are you the same victor that drinks in the swan?
(Dwarfsmuggler Has hogtied Snow White, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 11:31, closed)

tes at a time.
THERE. YOU HAPPY NOW?
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 11:47, closed)

Yes.
But only because I'm having an awesome pedantwank.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 11:52, closed)

Hahahahahahahahahahaha
Oh god I've just come thinking about the awesomeness of having a pedantwank.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 11:53, closed)

Dirty slut, using both commas AND apostrophes incorrectly!
Gonna correct her spelling hard...yeah...mmm...I'll teach her what you do with a colon all right...
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 12:06, closed)

While you're at it
I don't even have a babysitter. I mean, what the fuck was I thinking, eh?
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 11:54, closed)

Oh Christ no, I don't give a shit about *factual* inaccuracy.
This is, as has been astutely observed on many occasions, QOTW/the internet. If I were to jump on every occasion of untruth that appeared before me, I'd reach a level of petty nitpicking far below that of the pedantry of grammar and form. Who would be that obsessive?

Also, humour and particularly grammar have rules that are a lot easier to spot. Nobody can reliably tell if something's true or not, but words are definitely either spelled correctly or not.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 12:12, closed)

"Who would be that obsessive?"
I can think of a few....

I just thought I put the OP up as it was a spin on a particularly less PC joke that I read on sickipedia. I really am partial to an awful joke (in all senses of the word) and this was my attempt!

Having said, that, I'll grade myself: D-. Must try harder.
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 12:19, closed)

A few of that sort of purely theoretical awful bore? Surely not!
Anyway, I'm not sure why I jumped on this particular post so hard. I do that sometimes. I blame coffee. When I don't have coffee, I blame the lack of coffee. Win-win.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 12:28, closed)

Yep, those theoretical bastards.
Theoretically using an old idea to theoretically bore the spanners off of people by posting theoretical repetitive posts that ran their course a very very long time ago, and should probably just fuck off back to /theoretalk.

Theoretically speaking. of course.
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 12:33, closed)

Also
ZOMG MASSIVE CAFFEINE DRUGZ!!!ELEVENTYONE!!!1
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 12:34, closed)

Good effort
Shame about the pedant attack.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 12:35, closed)

meh,
nevermind. If I was in that sort of mood (whatever mood that may be) I'd be prone to do the same.

Cheers though!
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Thu 4 Nov 2010, 12:36, closed)

How else am I supposed to get my rocks off, huh?

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 12:37, closed)

Not sure, maybe you could get Carol Vorderman round for a cheeky game of hide the pedant. She would seduce you and then correct your every move in bed. It could be the kind of double climax you need to move on in life, away from the pedantic path.

Apologies for randomness, I am so bored at work that I feel like I might start travelling back in time.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 12:43, closed)