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This is a question Banks

Your Ginger Fuhrer froths, "I hate my bank. Not because of debt or anything but because I hate being sold to - possibly pathologically so - and everytime I speak to them they try and sell me services. Gold cards, isas, insurance, you know the crap. It drives me insane. I ALREADY BANK WITH YOU. STOP IT. YOU MAKE ME FRIGHTED TO DO MY NORMAL BANKING. I'm angry even thinking about them."

So, tell us your banking stories of woe.

No doubt at least one of you has shagged in the vault, shat on a counter or thrown up in a cash machine. Or something

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 13:15)
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Long story of stubborn coppery hell
Years of collecting coppers in a big jar until it finally reached the top. Conscientious as I am, I separate all the different denominations into different bags before toddling down to my local branch.

At the counter I pop down the first bag (full of 2 pences): "Could you change this for notes please?

"Sorry sir, you’ll have to put £1 of 2 pences into each of these little bags" - to which I am presented a handful of little plastic bags. A ball ache but fair enough. I take the time to count 50 two pences into a bag and hand it over before starting on the next one.

Whilst counting, I notice the clerk opens the first little bag and pours the contents into a counting machine which rattles through the lot in under a second, confirming I had counted correctly. Hmm, I spot a potential time saving solution:

"Can’t you use the counting machine to count the money and save me doing it ?"

"No sir, you have to put the money into the little bags".

"but you take it out the little bags and count it anyway."

"I’m sorry sir, you have to put the money into the little bags"

Pah ! Bollocks to this. I stick my hand into the big bag of 2ps, grab a handful and stick them in a plastic bag:

"There you go that’s a pound"

"No it isn’t. You didn’t count it"

"Yes I did. Why don’t you check with your machine."

To which the frowning clerk pours the contents into the machine and tells me its only 88p. I grab another random amount of 2 pences and add them to the little bag.

"Can you check again please ?"

"You didn’t count it"

"Yes I did. Why don’t you check ?"

And so I spent the best part of an hour in what became a war of attrition. Each time I grabbed a random amount of coinage - each time she would count it and tell me it was the incorrect amount, each time I would grab another random amount... She didn’t want to break procedure and I wanted to prove my point. Again. And Again. And Again.

Got there in the end but I cant help noticing some people are so stubborn.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:34, 14 replies)
I don't suppose
you managed to make 100p exactly at any point?
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:52, closed)
A winner already?
Let's all do this... NOW
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 15:53, closed)
Well done.
That's worth a click.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:04, closed)
fucking bankers
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:07, closed)

(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 16:12, closed)
This really is most excellent!
Have a click and consider this little gem taxed the next time I have a shitload of shrapnel to pay in at the bank.
(, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 17:04, closed)
Haha! Again. And Again!
and Again!
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 5:09, closed)
Office giggle.
Glad it's too late for anyone else to be here
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 8:06, closed)
A hearty laugh first thing on a Friday

How much did you make in the end?

Fucking hate jobsworths!
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:12, closed)
Ive got £300 worth of 1p coins still at home. This could be fun...
(, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 9:50, closed)
You have 30,000 1p coins?
If so, well, your spine's in for a treat when you return that lot.
(, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 20:56, closed)
My boyfriend
does that when he needs to pay his credit card bill as he is a delivery driver he gets lots of change every day and every month goes in to the bank with bags of change.
(, Sat 18 Jul 2009, 16:23, closed)
(, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:23, closed)
A bit late in the day
but I'd like to offer a click to demonstrate my amusement at this.
(, Thu 23 Jul 2009, 15:48, closed)

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