i had a wank once and shot myself in my eye and my eye got infected and rotted and worms came out of it and that gave my mum a fright and she jumped real high and a stalactite went through her skull and she died although when it thawed she came alive but by then dinner was burned so it was still a disaster really by the final tally
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 8:50, 10 replies)

Welcome back, SpankyHanky.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:22, closed)

spanky had talent
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:23, closed)

No he didn't.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:27, closed)

Plus, this is more believable than one of Spanky's efforts.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:09, closed)

He bloody did.
He was ace. He was one of the best writers here. He got fed up with all the little ones completely missing the point, and screaming "lies!" at him.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:28, closed)

Let's not get carried away here.
I don't think any non-troll actually cares whether QOTW stories are true or not. Anyone who's been here for any length of time knows that that's not the point of QOTW, and some of the most entertaining posts I've ever read have clearly been out-and-out fabrications. Incidentally, credit where credit's due: Spanky did have a fine turn of comic phrase.

What riled me about him was this: virtually everything he ever posted screamed "Look at ME! I'm such a REAL MAN! I met this lady and I wanted to touch her...um...you know...ladyparts, and SHE LET ME! Bow down before the SuperStud!" If you post the same transparent plea for attention week after week after week, you come across as a desperately sad bastard.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:42, closed)

So ... so doing that ...
Doing that's a BAD thing, right?

OK.

*shuffles off*
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:48, closed)

It's not what you say, it's the way that you say it...
...and nobody could describe the sweet desire for ladyparts like Spanky. I'm just sad that I joined too late to miss him in his prime. *tear*
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 22:04, closed)

Hahahahaha awesome

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:48, closed)

*clicks
and I click because it's one big ranting sentence and that fits perfectly.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 14:29, closed)

Have a click
just because I hear Ralph Wiggum's voice when I read that and it makes me smile.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:37, closed)

Ha!
Reminds me of the time, must've been 15 or 16, when I wondered: I wonder what it feels like to get a facial. (Obviously in a completely non-gay way). So I sort of rolled myself up into a ball using the bed as support and thwapped one off onto my own face.

It's not great, by the way. And a pisser to get out of hair.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 5:48, closed)