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This is a question Wanking Disasters Part II

Despite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.

Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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I haven't ever been caught having a wank
However, I did once tug one out to Helen Daniels from 1990's neighbours. It was kind of like getting caught by yourself, as at the end, I couldn't help thinking, what yer doin that for!?
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 9:56, 11 replies)

thats seriously messed up dude - you can only justify that by having wanked to the entire cast many times over first, males included.
(I helped save b3ta! enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:17, closed)
Tried the
male cast, on the promise that Stefan Dennis was going to make me feel good, sadly did nothing for me, so from fit ozzie beauties to necrophillia it was....
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 10:46, closed)
That is quite wrong man
But I suppose she had a certain grandmotherly chic, if you like that sort of thing. I am personally struggling to find any wank orientated antics which would be worth recounting here.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 15:03, closed)
Thank you
For even attempting to justify this...Grandmother chic? yes I suppose it was. I am still a freak of the highest order though...Luckily my medication keeps me on track most of the time ;)
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 15:36, closed)
could have been worse
could have been Madge
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:47, closed)
Bouncer.
That is all.
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Bastardo, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 16:51, closed)
Well
gentlemen do prefer blondes apparently.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:54, closed)
Mrs Mangle (I win I think)

(I helped save b3ta! number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 21:37, closed)
Hehehehe.
Top trumped!
(I helped save b3ta! Evil Bastardo, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 9:57, closed)
This definately can't be beat!
Under no circumstance would I fantasize about putting my cock into a mangle *ouchy*
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 9:58, closed)
I am
Neither denying or confirming that I have banged one out over Madge as well....Only kidding, Helen was the only one for me ;)
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 17:56, closed)

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