Do inbred customers count?
I did have to tolerate them on a nightly basis :o/ Plural years ago, I lived on the Greek island of Kos. Winter jobs were few and far between unless you didn't mind working in a bar. Fab for us foreign girls, as the only Greek girls who'd do bar work were also Ladies Of The Night. Taking my prerequisite tits and eyelashes for the "interview" i.e. a beer with the bar's owner, I started the very next night. 8pm til 4am - top notch, I could sleep all day at the beach. (The "leather saddle-bag" look was de riguer for one' skin in those days.) I digress........

Kos is one of the smaller islands, currently populated by 30ish thousand. Originally however, it was only inhabitted by two families. A case of, "Jethro, Oi married moy sister an' it never did me no 'aaaarm... ye'll be weddin yur cuzin moy son" etc. Descendants of these original inhabitants can easily be spotted today...
Cue the pair I had to not only endure, but humour, as I was their favourite barmaid (no idea why). They introduced themselves as uncle and nephew, Nikos and Stephanos. Thought they were the Greek equivalent of Laurel and Hardy. (I am related to Stan Laurel but that's another digression.) Boy, did they identify with me. Maybe that's because I'm a dog-lover and they had one. Only theirs was imaginary. And it liked to play with me behind the bar. And because I couldn't see the little terrier twat ( I assumed it was a Jack Russell by the tone of it's yap) I'd frequently trip over it as I was hurrying about my work. Kept standing on it's stupid imaginary fucking tale, to which Nik & Steph would supply the high-pitched howls/yelps of agony. The only way to shut them the fuck up was to kneel on the floor, patting Terriertwat and giving him nuts (again, I'm making assumptions with it's gender). All in a night's work, for which I was renumerated with 7000 drachma and 750mls of Cutty Sark.

Worse still, on the odd occasion I got a night off, say every couple of months, they'd spot me out with my dog. Who was Real. Lovely dog he was, Gorby - a pointer whom I'd hand-reared. Gorby was quite partial to the odd whiskey himself, so he'd accompany me out for the evening. Cue "Laurel & Fucking Hardy" with their yappy little twat who would attack poor old placid imprinted Gorby. See the psychiatric needs...... Paint them purple...

Davros' Grandad has taken the day off work to do grown-up stuff with Council Tax, but he was easily persuaded that the popping of my b3ta cherry was much higher up on the list of priorities.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 15:54, 12 replies)

Welcome!
Like your 'first time', you'll probably regret this in the morning.
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 16:04, closed)

Small world
I am also related to Stan Laurel. Albeit distantly. He's some form of complicated cousin.
( Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 16:06, closed)

*click*
this story is all clicky!

PS Kroney, I am a big fan of the term complicated cousin.
(JasperSinister is offering two tickets to the gun show, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 16:19, closed)

*click*
I love the fact that the imaginary dog seems to be real...and it attacked your dog...how does that work?

Good first post!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 16:22, closed)

@ Big girls blouse
I prefer Edith Piaf's approach to regrets..... Will I bleed is all I'm worried about? ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 17:08, closed)

@ Kroney
Stan was my dad's uncle's uncle. Do I win?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 17:10, closed)

@ chickenlady
Aw, thanks :o) Being hand-reared, Gorby had absolutely no idea he was a dog - and having me as his surrogate mum added insult to this injury - making him a tad on the 'special' side. Thus he learned all of his social skills from me. So when he saw me 'reacting' to Terriertwat he must have thought this behaviour appropriate and copied accordingly?! Playing along with said inbreds was the path of least resistance, otherwise I couldn't shake them off :o/ I've always been one of those people who attracts retards...... not to mention all the years I've worked with window-lickers lol
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 17:23, closed)

I've always been one of those people who attracts retards......
I'm not sure how I should take that... *sniff*.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 29 Jan 2008, 20:05, closed)

@ Davros' Grandad
Of course you aren't included in the retards babe - you, my love, are *SPECIAL* ROFLOL. Now don't you feel all warm 'n' fuzzy? xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 23:26, closed)

Oh aye, warm and fuzzy...
like I've just pissed meself...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 29 Jan 2008, 23:28, closed)

Well That Was A Long Time.
Between popping of cherries....

And as for attracting Nutters - why did you think I picked you to talk to that infamous afternoon in the Tap and Spile?

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 1:46, closed)

you're not the only one who attracts retards
my mother's favourite nickname for me is "mong magnet".
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 2:07, closed)