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This is a question Bastard Colleagues

You've all known one. The brown-nosing fucker, the 'comedian', the drunk, the gossip and of course the weird one with no mates who goes bell ringing, looks like Mr Majika and sports a monk's haircut (and is a woman).

Tell us about yours...

Thanks to Deskbound for the idea

(, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 9:09)
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The Vile Young Spastic
I once ran a call centre with 75 or so operators. Generally they were an excellent bunch and a good laugh, so I am certainly not criticising the customer service representative profession. However, after several months of operation I was approached with a perplexing staff problem...

Several staff members had come to me on various occassions complaining about the state of the toilets. This was subsequently backed up when the cleaners threatened to stop cleaning them. Upon personal inspection I found the most god-awful mess in one of the cubicles. Seriously, it looked like an explosion in....well a shit factory. There was faecal matter everywhere..down the khazi, down the sides, on the floor, on the remaining toilet paper (with finger marks - eewww!). The skid stains on the inside of the bowl were so thick, the perpetrator must have had one leg right down the S-bend and been drawing on the pan with their turtle's head like a pritt stick.

To make matters truly worse for me (as a male), this was the ladies toilet....I had to concoct a particularly tactful email trying to flush out the vile young spastic responsible. Alas, to no avail..the problem continued for months and had not stopped when I left.

I find it seriously discomforting that a woman was responsible for this. I would tell you about my amusing "call centre dunce hat" motivational technique if I had time...but seems I have gone on long enough already.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 2:49, 5 replies)
Just for the pritt stick image at 8.30 am, just what I needed!
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 8:34, closed)

"I find it seriously discomforting that a woman was responsible for this."

I always think 'Aaaawww, bless 'em' whenever anyone makes a remark like that. I'm truly flattered (on behalf of womenkind) that many men think we're lovely and ladylike...yet still there are plenty of female chavs both large and small, and you can't tell me that someone like Courtney Love leaves the toilet bowl fresh and shiny.

I'd like to think that on the whole most women are clean and particular about their hygiene, but equally go to any rock or beer festival and try the loos after a few hours.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 10:28, closed)
And I suppose you think girls' farts smell of Chanel No 5. Newsflash - women produce poo too! Not entirely sure "spastic" is the right word though...leaving a toilet in such a state is soooo much worse than mental disability...
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 10:36, closed)
'Vile Young Spastic'?
Any relation to the Fine Young Cannibals?

"She drives me crehzeh, (ooh ooh)
By spraying the place with bum cheese, (ooh ooh)
She drives me crehzeh, and, quite frankly, I'm at a loss to ascertain her identity."

Come on, sing along! You know the words.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 13:07, closed)
You can't....
..have a title "The Vile Young Spastic" and let me down with absolutely no mention of the handicapped! Damn you sir, Damn you to hell!
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 13:55, closed)

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