Another pea:
It was my first weekend to spend consisting of just me and a proper girl - she was really fit, really up for it, and her parents were away for the weekend.

It was the early 1990s. I was 17, she was 18. It was Saturday morning, and I was getting ready for an hour's train journey through the West Country summertime countryside, ready to explode out into a world constructed only of the stuff poetry and porn is made of.

Thus to preclude all this, I listened to a steady diet of heavy metal, old school punk and new-school indie at top volume, while I laid out my finest, blackest band t-shirts, and made sure my dishevelled look was just so.

One particularly riotous, rebellious song came on, and I moshed enthusiastically and gleefully around my room, tripping on a fix of caffeine, nicotine, and the sheer, unadulterated and magnificent joy of teenage hormones.

I BELTED my head against my wardrobe, causing it to fall half-into me. In my stunned haste, I spun 'round, smashing my face against my shelf full of books. This tipped several of the heavier volumes on to me, with one particular hardback tome landing cornerside into my crown, causing me to sit down heavily on my bed, where I was then steadily pelted by the rest of my books, my cassettes and CDs, the speaker of my stereo, and all the other various pariphinalia and shelf crap of a teenage punk's life.

As I sat there, surrounded by the debris, I realised that in all the excitement my cigarette had dropped onto my bed and was burning a sizable hole in my duvet.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:51, 4 replies)

Excellent!
Any smoother and you'd turn into Dwayne Dibley.
*click*
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 12:59, closed)

A Vag
Is where they got the inspiration.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 13:10, closed)

Why is it always raining books, CDs and stereos in your posts?

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:21, closed)

Could be worse, could be men.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 14:35, closed)

but did you manfullly climb out
of the ditritus of bedroom disaster put your cock away and get the train for your rondevouz with her nether regions?




or did it end in another teenage wank?
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:23, closed)