For fuck's sake.
I suggest that, if you should post again, you number your many expansions then provide footnotes -- so that you don't sound like a patronising cunt trying to explain to thick people that Australia has slang and, sometimes, you use it.
Oh, also, you should have reported the assault to the police rather than letting it go -- but we've all let violent wastes of space go unreported, I suppose, so I don't blame you.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 17:57, 2 replies)

Autralian?
Ahhhhhh...that explains the ignorance and hypersensitivity to piss taking.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 19:09, closed)

I was only guessing.
But, now you mention it, my hypothesis fits.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 19:58, closed)

Puerile racism...
...from AB. Poorly spelt racism at that.
(discopants, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 3:10, closed)

Autralian?
Autralian?
You silly Poms and your lack of ability to spell stuff correctly, bathe regularly & have good dental hygiene.
I think I may have pointed this out to you before AB but most browsers, regardless of your OS have a magical tool which automatically checks your spelling.
In Firefox it may look something like this -

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 6:26, closed)

autralians.
autistic australians. top portmanteau, there.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:38, closed)

I think he's sick of everyone saying "what the fuck are you on about?"
so has 'humourously' provided translations for straightforward words.

Unfortunately this glosses over the fact that his stories make no fucking sense, not just his individual words.

"so there we was in PFSAT (kind of lubby)(i say I u no I mean eh;) !) but no EDIT K this wasn't like an I kind of I more like I (as in u (you) u (or she he he!) & it is it's is ... didnt happen agin (though not likely to it if u know (u know, I!) meaning, crazy times :)"
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 20:42, closed)

Huzzah! You win. I can now reveal to you the easter egg.
I got beaten up whilst trying to shag some woman for having mistakenly drunk a bottle of champagne that wasn't mine to drink. Which I classified as a "Bedroom Disaster", hence answering this weeks question.
Did that help, do I have to clarify it any further?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 21:28, closed)

You really are a thick fucking cunt.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 23:48, closed)

Yet you came back for a look.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 23:55, closed)

People slow down for car crashes
and stare at gaping flesh wounds too. Doesn't make them anything you want to be involved with.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 8:56, closed)

Ya gotta rubber-neck
when the opportunity arises.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 9:45, closed)

I like to mock the afflicted.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 9:16, closed)

Trust me.
Nothing you could say would possibly make me feel mocked.
Nothing.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 9:46, closed)

I'm fairly sure that's not how mocking works.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 9:59, closed)

So we should stop laughing at you because you're too stupid to realise just how stupid you are?
Hahaha. You daft prick.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:01, closed)

Yeah, I actually got the 'plot' of the story.
Most people are being deliberately obtuse for comedy value when they say they don't understand you. What they really mean is you write like a drunk incoherent subnormal idiot. No offence.

Sigh. Please don't reply. It's too tiring.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:58, closed)