Bell'd Womb Deer Sauce Tyre
Seductive meal with scallops wrapped in bacon for starters, venison casserole, followed by lemon syllabub
Inadvertent insertion of hand bell into vagina during foreplay
Desperate suggestion to use something from the kitchen as lubricant for extraction
No cooking oil left
No butter left
Some scrapings from the casserole the only option
Bell extracted successfully
Followed by unfortunate prolapse of uterus, which bears an uncanny resemblance to an under inflated tyre
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:30, 6 replies)

At this risk of looking foolish:
this never happened.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:34, closed)

Looking back at the events of that night now
through the haze of time, I concede that perhaps some of the minor details may have been subject to a little embellishment for narrative purposes.
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 10:42, closed)

Ha! "EmBELLishment"!
I see what you did there!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:04, closed)

ems bell is ment was only ment to take the piss
not start a net riot




or not
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:24, closed)

I'm not really sure
what you're trying to say here.

(Reads some of your previous posts)

You're probably not sure either.
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:38, closed)

sigh
Wouldn't it be better to expend the level of mental effort it must take to create this over-elaborate pish on something more worthwhile? Like curing cancer?
(square go, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 13:39, closed)