My 18th was brilliant!
The plan was for a few of us to go to the local pub for the curry night and proceed to get wankered. However, some of my mates look under 18, and when they were IDed, they were completely unprepared, and we were kicked out. Fortunately, a 15 minute walk would take us to another pub offering a similar curry themed night, so off we went. When we got there, I discovered (well, I already knew) that a girl I went to primary school with works there behind the bar.

She was (and still is) HOT!

Anyway, my mate gets the first drink in for me, and I drink it with much gusto. However, just a couple of hours later, after copious amounts of lager, whiskey and Newcastle Brown, I was shouting out how I would like to shag the barmaid very loudly (loud enough that everyone in the pub could hear me). I was asked to quiet down by a barman. I agreed that it would be best, but my silence only lasted about 5 seconds, because as soon as his back was turned, I told him to fuck off and leave me to it... hmmm.

I also ate some candle.

Outside this particular pub is a children's playground, so there we were, 5 or 6 pissed blokes and a couple of birds, fucking about on the swings and stuff. What actually happened here had to be relayed to me, because I was too drunk to remember everything that happened. Basically, I fell over a lot, still shouting about my urge to shag the barmaid.

Then, when I got home, I shook my 13 year old sister's hand for a good 20 minutes, telling her the wonders of alcohol. Then I fell asleep on the couch. 10 minutes later, I woke up, puked all over myself (fully clothed, I might add) and rang my mum to tell her this. She was only upstairs! She came downstairs to clean her child up (the clever, sensible child of the 3 of us).

Surprisingly enough, I can no longer drink whiskey. Which is just as well, because it tastes like shite anyway.

This is perhaps the most shameful thing I have ever done, but fuck it, I had fun.
(Keiths Dad, Sat 10 Dec 2005, 10:50, Reply)